5 Things I Would Change About The Business (If I Could)

Hey kids! Are you about to head off to yet another audition where there might be hundreds of other actors sitting in a cramped holding room, on a hardwood floor, clutching their headshots and hoping they’re gonna be “the one?” Well, before you subject yourself to yet another jaunt to the ninth circle of actor hell, why not escape with me for a few minutes to a dreamy utopia we can call “what if you were in charge of this industry?”

Seriously. If you ran all of show business, everything from Broadway to studio feature films to network and cable television, commercials to indie films to regional theatre to new media, how would you change things so that it would be a lot less excruciating to you, the actor?

Last night, I had the pleasure of chatting with my longtime gal-pal and NY-based actor friend Daisy, and posed this very question to her. Her list was both a practical and ideological vision. Let’s plunge right in:

Daisy’s list of 5 ways she would change the business:

1. Know exactly when you are going to get paid. “Checks seem to arrive whenever they feel like it. And the SAG online residual tracker is never accurate enough to count on.”

2. Casting is too narrowly limited to favor women in their early 20’s to 30. Opening up possibilities for women in their 30’s and 40’s.

3. If you are issuing a breakdown, don’t lie about being open to “any ethnicity,” if at the end of the day, you are going to hire a blonde-haired blue eyed 23-year-old.

4. Make it standard operating procedure to provide feedback on auditions. Not getting any response at all is one of the most mind-boggling and frustrating aspect of vying for a role.

5. A way for actors to work part time at the networks, and have flex time to audition. “There are so many motivated, smart actors working meaningless jobs just for the flexibility. Why can’t the networks lend a helping hand and allow actors to share shifts in production, and cover an 8-hour shift between a team of two? Both actors could get to their auditions, and provide reliable, inexpensive labor to top-flight shows.”

My personal list of 5 was a bit less practical and a bit more expansive. Here goes:

1.    Get rid of 85% of the people who are currently pursuing acting. That’s the percentage of people who do not belong. They are clogging up the market and creating mass chaos for the rest of us. They are either untrained, unmotivated or otherwise clueless.

2.    Get rid of all models with no discernable talent (addendum to #1).

3.    Hold networks accountable for their annual “we love minorities” showcases. What really happens to these actors once they are paraded around like circus attractions to industry pros? How many of them actually gain tangible career progress? Why are the auditions for these showcases so inaccessible to most minority performers? Why do the same actors keep having to do these same showcases if they actually work?

4.    SAG, AFTRA and AEA all need to merge. As a professional actor who has been paying THREE SEPARATE UNION dues for my entire adult life, it is enraging to see not only fighting between unions, but warring factions within a single union. I’m lookin’ at you, Screen Actors Guild. Get it together! Do you know how hilarious the AMPTP thinks this infighting is? They are eating finger sandwiches and getting pedicures right now while we tear each other’s extensions out like two drunk starlets in the ladies' room at Hyde. Ridiculous.

5.    Addendum to #4. Actors’ Equity Association MUST close the Showcase Code loophole that allows producers to “hire” union actors for stage productions for no money. You heard that right, newbies. This practice is even more rampant in Los Angeles due to the overflowing number of actors who are desperate for the exposure. Actors earn their way (and pay top dollar) into the union because they are professionals. Professional means you get paid.

Well, now it’s your turn to sound off, in the comments section. If you have a list of five, or even just one aspect of the industry you could change if you could, or if you disagree with me and Daisy on our lists. Go nuts!

--Miki Yamashita

SAG   AFTRA   AEA

Comments

[Yvonne Same]

Can I get an Amen? Preach it.

[Seregon]

I agree with all of those comments. Here are some of mine:

1. No one should work for free. In no other job/profession does anyone "offer their services simply for the love of it". No doctors, lawyers, mechanics, etc. Why should we be treated differently?

2. Headshots are stupid. Get rid of the "rules and requirements" for them. No one looks like any one picture all the time.

3.Stop casting 19 yrs old girls to play a 30 year old woman opposite an actor who is 45.

4.Don't have open calls. It's a waste of time. You know what you want in an actor. Just ask for it. Our time is precious, too.

5.Give people a chance. Stop saying you want a "named actor". It is understandable why you do, but also remember the rich and famous movie stars were also nobodies once upon a time.

6. I'm adding a number 6. Stop making us feel like a size 4 is fat! (This is more for the Hollywood level than indie).