How to Capture a William Morris Agent

1) Trade bodies with Brad Pitt or Cate Blanchett

2) 26 yards of fishing lure, 4 pounds filet mignon, duct tape, brick

3) Offer fornication

4) Break into office in catsuit, tape headshot to rare and expensive case of wine, leave on Favored Agent's desk

5)  Hire PI, proceed to stalk

6)  Hire PI, proceed to blackmail

7)  Hire taxi driver to "almost hit" Agent, push him out of the way, and save him

8)  Date Favored Agent's Personal Assistant

9)  Date Favored Agent

10) Have innate gift-from-God acting ability, have innate gift-from-God attractiveness or absolutely not at all, study Method for twenty seven years, complete prior nine steps

Happy hunting!

-- Ashley Avis

Comments

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[Jay Amari]

11. Become a William Morris Agent and rep yourself!