Everything I Ever Needed To Know, I learned Fom Newton's Balls

Img_8600_4 (Just a little juvenile high school physics humor, there.)

But - Yay!  Money!  I wrote my agent again this morning about February's commercial and she said she got payment yesterday and is writing my check today.  Thank god.  I was about to cry like a baby out of frustration.

Getting copy on the other hand...

My agent wrote:  "Good luck trying to get a copy - I don't get involved with that - it seems very few people are willing to supply copies of spots."

Um... thank you?

Whatever, it probably isn't in her job description... but it would be nice, you know?  To have a little help.  I'm realizing more and more that there really never is any rest - unless it is self-imposed - in this business.  You can't ever say, "Well, that's done - now I can just kick back!"  Nuh uh.  If you want work - you have to stay on top of people (especially yourself).

I've been taking the last couple weeks "off" after the madness of 2 classes, 2 commercials, 2 on-camera spots, new pictures, and a butt-load of auditions (all on top of a day job - certainly no dry spell here, acting-wise).  And it has been nice and peaceful.  But, as I start to notice more and more the absence of the phone ringing and the lack of incoming emails with audition requests... I'm realizing that my momentum only carried me so far.  The shot-put of my life sped forward, arched, peaked... then landed and stopped with a dull thud.

But, energy is never lost...  So, it's time to once again, slowly but surely make the transfer from potential to kinetic and get my leaden arse back into the swing of things...

(It's amazing how even though I sucked at physics in school [damn spring constants!], I love it and find it poetic and applicable to everything.)

Time to pick the damn pictures already, fax the production company with yet another request for copy, and mail out some old headshots to some ads I found last week.

Slowly but surely...

This may require more coffee.

--Susan Atwood

And Today's Lesson is...

Njbafrotime
I had a "straight-to-producers" audition for ER today, over on the Warner Bros. lot. I don't live far from there, but I like to leave for auditions early to allow for the ubiquitous horrendous traffic conditions here in L.A., and arriving early gives me time to sit in my car, breathe, and center myself before the audition. So, I left home earlier than I really needed to, got there, chilled in my car for a few minutes, then found the building and room where auditions were to be held. The... 'outfit' that I had decided to wear was not something I wanted to wear in public lest I be mistaken for some sort of derelict, so I made a bee-line for the bathroom, removed my overshirt, turned my black wife-beater (husband-beater?) inside out to hide the inappropriate lettering ("can't be arsed"), fluffed my afro (my hair + no gel = afro), and pulled on a skullcap. I kept on my dark glasses because it was an emotional scene and I wanted time to prepare without feeling compelled to make eye contact with anyone. I left the rest room & went to a corner of the waiting room, noting the papers posted on the wall that show that 5 of us were reading for the role, and that we had been pre-partnered. I readied myself, and then signed in, 10 minutes before my scheduled time. I moved from my seat in the corner, and sat closer to the audition room. My partner had not yet arrived. A man walked in. The casting assistant asked his name. He told her, then she said "Good. You're up now. Don't even sign in. They're ready for you." He looked dazed as he walked in. Ouch.

Two more men walked through the door (neither one was my partner), and signed in. The casting assistant told them both (nicely, but firmly) that their audition session had ended at 2:15 (it was now 2:25) and that the role for which they were auditioning had already been cast. "I'm sorry, the traffic was just..." the guy's voice trailed off. "I just do what they tell me to do. Sorry." They were both summarily dismissed. Double ouch.

2:30. My partner had not arrived, nor had the partner of another woman auditioning for the same role as I. The casting assistant told us that we would be going in solo, first her, then me. I went in, and I'm glad to say that it went VERY well. I just about skipped out of there, grinning all the way, looking crazy in my get-up. Didn't even care. I felt good.

Did I book it? Hopefully. Very hopefully, because it's time for me to book SOMETHING. A friend left me a message this weekend saying he can't seem to get arrested these days. I know the feeling. At the very least, I feel like I made some new fans, and that they'll call me in again.

The lesson for the day? To be "on time" is to be EARLY.

--Nicole J. Butler

3 Shits and a Fuck

SmushedminimingIf you're a writer trying to make it in Hollywood, my advice to you is: Sleep your way to the top.  And by that I mean, your time will be better spent schmoozing and networking and kissing ass after you've figured out a solid storyline or plot.  The actual script, the dialogue, the lines...it'll end up being revised and edited by a script doctor hired by the studio who will dumb it down and suck all the life out of it anyway.  So unless you're some sort of brilliant writer, don't waste your time crafting every line.  If the story is good, they'll buy it.  And if it's marketable, maybe you'll be lucky enough to get a cast that's talented enough to fix the lines and make the movie somewhat decent.  Or if you're in it for the art, stick with the indie route and let the big studios bend over and take it up the hoo-haw when they get into a bidding war over your work.

I initially was surprised and grateful for the opportunity to play and go off-script for a few takes.  I was raised to respect writing and have always been a stickler about delivering lines word for word including punctuation.  I know how specific I get when I write scripts.  Hell, sometimes it's takes me hours to compose an e-mail.  I choose specific words and phrases for specific reasons and I'd be pissed if anyone messed around with my work without my approval.  Screenplays however are not like plays.  Comparatively, there's much more freedom to change lines a lot. 

But I quickly learned that A) not all actors can improv, which I personally can't comprehend.  And B) the suits have a very tight leash around creativity.  It's frustrating and creepy.  They have no sense of humor, which sort of totally SUCKS when you're trying to do a comedy.  I found myself at one point just not giving a shit anymore because I felt so powerless.  But then I realized that not trying at all would only hurt myself in the end and there's got to be a way to at least reach some happy medium.  I had to at least try.  Otherwise, why am I even doing any of this in the first place? 

I just believe that audiences are smarter than they think.  Old stereotypes and cliches, stupid lines and obvious laughs just aren't funny anymore.  Then again, it takes an awful lot for me to actually laugh out loud.  People can also be surprisingly easy to please.  I just don't know.  Sometimes I wonder if I suffer from PMS everyday of the year or something. 

And do we really have to rate films?  I mean, I can understand the need for labeling certain material that's super violent or sexually explicit to protect kids.  But beyond that, most youths are watching R-rated films anyway.  What the hell good is rating something PG-13?  Is there really a difference between 3 "shits" and a "fuck" versus a movie that's got cursing throughout?  You know as well as I do that all those pre-teen punks are watching R-rated films all the time on satellite, or on-line, or on their handheld machines, or implanted brain chips anyway.

And I'm not at all saying that cursing is necessary to be funny.  Fuck no.  But being so safe and paranoid of public opinion is so damn lame.

--Ming Ming

Where & Why Unscripted Originated

This blog's birthing occurred at a little meeting at The Actor's Network. There were maybe half a dozen of us present. And I knew most of the people in that room. I know this because I was there at that meeting. In fact, I'm the only blogger on this blog who was at that meeting. I suggested that a blog for struggling (or low-totem-pole) actors BY the same kind of actors is what I wanted to read. I wanted to hear from people like me. People in my demographic...how do people like ME do it? I wanted in on their secrets, their struggles, their victories.

I was tired of reading about actors who were making 20 mil a year with glossy lives, fourteen nannies, and 850 pairs of shoes. I wanted to hear from working actors, working moms, and people who we haven't heard of yet. People working their way up the Hollywood Food Chain! What ideas could we glean from each other? Or something like that.... Then Fabulous Editor Lady said she was thinking of starting a blog...and would I be willing to write for people in my demographic? I said "YES!". I put together a "sample blog", sent it to her two weeks later, and was one of the first bloggers to start writing for Unscripted.   

So...if you don't know that Unscripted is a blog by working (or sometimes struggling) actors for working (or sometimes struggling) actors... You do now.

Also--look out for blogs popping up in printed form in your Backstage West mag that comes to your door or your local newsstand. You can see the first inked blog in the May 1-7 issue on page six (and my cute little face to boot!).

P.S. I love this blog and while I don't read EVERY blog I find every one of us is unique either due to gender, city, sex, age, race, experiences, years in the industry, attitude, hair color, and sense of humor. Yes, there may be a clump of us white chicks who are all under thirty...but if you can't tell us apart...then obviously you need to read MORE about each of us and I hope you do! :) Thanks for reading!

Headshot1

--Eve White

Abducted by Aliens : The Mysteries of the Pilot Audition

Okay.  So I left the grounds of one of the Big Four networks roughly forty three minutes ago, give or talk aLarissa_nbc_ashleyavs_3 minute (I have this weird OCD specificity about time).  I had a much anticipated audition for a brand spankin' new pilot, a witty half hour comedy set to shoot... well, now, out of LA.  I got the sides last Thursday, which was a miracle in itself, and have thus been living and breathing the eight pages of text for the past ninety six hours.  Literally.  I've been singing them in the shower, talking aloud to myself down uncluttered avenues (re: last post), endowing random sleeping strangers on the C train and mentally doing the scene with them.  I don't think I've ever been this absolutely prepared for a pilot audition in my life.

I ended up booking a last minute session with my (not cheap) Yoda-like audition coach today to tighten them up further.  He gave me notes, added a few sprinkles to my cake, and sent me off with confidence.  He did mention, however (doubling as a manager himself), that this particular pilot has likely already been offered to somebody out of LA.  I mean, it's not the kind of role that they have to search the globe for -- pretty, fit, great comedic timing.  It's not like they're combing the countryside thinking "Who in the world can play this?!".

Knowing that, I went in and gave it my all -- and did it my way.  I was very much myself, my eccentric, real self -- because what was there to loose?  There's likely a ninety five percent shot this role is going to someone on the other coast, anyway.  And yet even though I didn't feel like I had to conform to what I think they wanted due to the knowledge of the sheer odds -- I really enjoyed this one.  Connected to the character.  Was delighted by the writing and her bizarreness. 

The audition seemed to be over faster than Spring was this year -- I went in, met the Big Four Casting Director, and read my selected scene through once.  She asked me "what I had been up to", and I was on my merry way.  The two people that went in before me were just as fast -- but sweet Jesus -- it felt like such a letdown.  That much preparation for three and a half minutes of opportunity.  Not that this is anything new, obviously -- I guess it just felt odd with this particular audition because of the sheer amount of time I had to prepare for it -- especially since I took advantage of all of it.  The ratio must have been something like 3,000 to 1, prep versus wormhole into Success-Land. 

I left feeling downtrodden and frustrated.  I've been trying valiantly not to beat myself up lately -- I'm such a ridiculously manic perfectionist -- but today I kinda let it all get to me.  And the audition wasn't even bad!  If I had to guess (since I have NO IDEA how it went), I would say it went pretty darn well.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Kind of like being abducted by aliens.  You leave the experience having no idea what the hell just happened.

To console myself, I'm now sitting in my favorite die-hard vegan restaurant about to eat the most massive non-meat item on their menu.  And I'm not even vegan.

Damn emotional preparation!

-- Ashley Avis

Self Promotion Can Be Gross

313681814_9251207004 I believe in strong self-promotion just as much as the next actor.  I'll print up some schmancy business cards to have on hand at social gatherings and I'll send out postcards when I'm doing something note worthy.  I'll pimp my website if someone is curious and/or wants to gather more information about me and I'll keep in touch with industry contacts on a regular basis in case a project comes up that I may be able to latch onto.  I'll be sure to cozy up to my agents if I've got something to show and I'll go see a friend's theatre show and then hand them a flier for my show afterwards...or leave some in the lobby for patrons to peruse.  Self-promotion is an absolute must in this business and there is a laundry list of creative and tried and true ways to incorporate it into your long-term business plan--but there is a way to do it with tact and grace.  You will hear many opinions on this, but for what it's worth, I believe that subtlety is key.

Who wants to date the overbearing dude/dudette who's cute but never shuts up when the sexy specimen down the hall is playing hard to get so well that you're dying to know more?

Hi!  I'm an actor, can you get me an agent?  Not subtle.

Posting your reel on castings myspace page is not subtle...and kinda stalkerish.

Sending eight postcards to the same person saying the same thing is not only not subtle, but annoying.

As one wise casting director recently told me, actors should put their energies into creating genuine connections with people who are in a position to be important in their life and their career.  Genuine connections probably don't start with, "Hi! Can I be on your show/audition for you/send you my headshots to see what you think?"  They probably start with normal conversations which may lead to a friendship which may lead to advice or auditions which may lead to a job.  But man, desperation is never attractive. 

I was recently on the other side of the table, and it was amazing to me how instantaneous it was to pick up on BS and desperation.  Heck, I'm sure I've been that tongue tied needy girl myself, because sometimes it's really hard to pretend you don't want a job when you really want it.

Dulli2 You only have one chance to make a first impression on somebody that is in a position of power.  Instead of operating with a malfunctioning mouth and divulging all the details of your resume in the first 30 seconds, think about the chance meeting as an opportunity to reveal all the wonderful facets of your personality--your intelligence, charm, humor & sensitivity--and leave the door-to-door businessman tactics at the...um...door.  People want to help people that they like, not people that tell them they should like them.  Yeah?

Now go charm the pants off everyone!  Literally, of course. 

--Stacey Jackson

P.S. I'm currently self-promoting my new kitten, "Dulli."  He rocks, just like Greg Dulli from the Afghan Whigs.  That's okay, right?

On The Charts

Branding

I was going to write this list out in my "production book" today, but figured I'd write it out here. What's next for Big Quiche Productions and myself? Course I'll have to dress it up a bit.

This past Sunday I had coffee with a husband and wife team that are looking for their next project to produce. We went over a few scripts I've already written that fit their criteria and interests, and later that night I sent PDFs for them to read. At the very least, it'll give us a starting point, and we'll know which way to go from there. We all think we'd be best to start with a short, but that isn't stopping us from talking budgets and features.

The feature I'm in pre-production with (S4tD) has been pushed back again... My partner/lawyer's other film has gotten pushed three weeks, so... Well, one thing pushes another... It'll be a little while longer before he's on ours as his priority. Last night he was dealing with contracts with stars and business offices in Japan. I had just finished my "red pen" edit of the rough draft. This week I'll be working to polish it to a kick ass first draft. In addition, tonight I'm starting an acting class where I hope to tune up. It's funny how intimidating the massive dialog in plays have become as I've gotten so used to Film, Television and Commercial (lack of) scripts.

I have a few "Closet Singers" on the production schedule, and several others in the "hopper" as I figure them out. They're easy for me to accomplish, as I don't have to involve too many others in order to get them done...  And man do I dislike waiting on others. Hopefully I'll be shooting another one with an actress ("...Myself") next Sunday... And possibly recording and shooting two others ("...live" and "...happy") this week. At some point I'll have to start singing out, or like the plays have become intimidating, so will live audiences.

There's two Big Quiche Short Films on the books... And sadly both on hold. The first ("...Cake") was supposed to be shot two weeks ago, but my actress/stunt chick blew out her knee doing a stunt, and we're waiting for her to recover. It doesn't sound like it'll be any time soon... The second ("...Period"), unless we find another location, we're on hold as a kitchen (our set) is being remodeled. I'm told it'll be completed in about three weeks.Spin_quiche_2

There's two other shorts that I'm supposedly CO-Producing with another Production Company... The first of them ("...Kraut") has been on hold as the director has started a new survival job... And even getting together for a coffee meet has yet to be accomplished. And the second (yet to agree on a title) is sitting on a musician's music stand, and awaiting music to be written to lyrics I wrote weeks ago.

There's a project nicknamed "Shark" or "Beach," which has been on the short list of a friend of mine to be completed for what has been years. It requires his expertise in CGI... It's been a challenge for him to figure out how to accomplish what he wants to accomplish with it, and a challenge for him to find the time to complete it. It's only a 30 second short, and had we had him on board from the beginning, it would have been simpler for him. Live and learn. My first CGI guy on it got busy and then moved back to Canada.

There's a few other irons on the edge of the fire, but to my knowledge they're not close to "going" and/or I feel like I've already written enough "blah blah" on this post.  And a few irons I've pulled from the flames for one reason or another. Not everything works out, not everything is a good idea, and not every partnership blooms.

Besides writing this blog, writing more short film scripts and feature scripts, future writing plans also include a non-fiction book, or two, or three.

Course there are the auditions, TV, Film and Commercial work that makes having time for all this possible... However, at this time I hardly ever know more than a few days ahead of any of that stuff. I suppose it keeps life "exciting," and me "on the edge," but man, wouldn't that be awesome to know you've got work lined up weeks or months ahead of time, and actually have time to prepare for roles... And empty weeks to schedule vacations without that fear of "missing" possible work.

-- Quiching Busy ~ Tom Kiesche

The Money Chase

In February I shot a commercial.  February 27th, to be exact.  That was over two months ago.  And guess what?  Still no copy OR paycheck.  Same goes for the one shot in Florida (although I wouldn't start to think about that one until the end of this month).

I've already called the agent who got me February's spot, asking if she's seen a check.  She has not.  And I have already called the production company twice in search of copy.  I've left two clear, brief messages...

Still no word.

What kills me - beyond the fact that I AM OWED A LOT OF MONEY and it would be so easy to just email me the damn file for the spot - is that in one month's time, technically, I'd made enough money through acting to support myself.  Technically.  Of course, that money would not/will not be seen for quite some time.  Obviously.  So it's sort of frustrating - hopeful for things to come, yet frustrating at the same time.

I don't want to harass these people and yet... I really want to harass these people.  I waited patiently for 60 days (30 days longer than I felt necessary for my money - the job was DONE, I worked on your set, said your lines, now PAY ME!) before asking, and now to be ignored or to feel like I have to keep on them about it just really annoys me.  This issue feels eternal.

Vday_2 Wish me luck in getting the goods.  With payment from these two jobs I will be able to pay off most of my lingering debt.  And I can't wait...

--Susan Atwood

"FOOD BALL!" and Other Things I Shouted.

Bwaaa_2 Earlier I spoke a little bit about a skill I've been unintentionally developing over the past several years in New York, due to the need for silent scene rehearsal (i.e. while in class, on the subway, in the adjoining bedroom of a diagnosabley insane roommate).  Without my knowledge, I have slowly yet steadily become a darn good ventriloquist.  From near silently mouthing the words to a monologue or time sensitive audition scene in public places, I can pretty much open my talker only a crack and successfully and clearly speak myself through a scene (running lines in my head never quite did the trick in terms of memorization).  However, sometimes I forget about this recently acquired skill and forget to utilize it -- and, as a result, end up "talking" to myself in various situations.

I noticed this today as I ran the lines for my audition tomorrow while walking to Ripley Grier in midtown.  A lovely Sunday afternoon, slightly rainy, not terribly too much foot traffic down less traveled streets.  I booked it up 36th, as there weren't too many pedestrians and push-ready tourists in sight.  I began going over the scene aloud, at first quietly and in my crafty ventriloquistic way.  I steadily grew louder and less inconspicuous.  After I'd covered about a third of the avenue, I was all out yelling at myself.  Totally in my own world, I didn't see the lone white-socked tourist wandering aimlessly in my direction, his map extended and crumpled, fanny-pack completely awry.  My character for this audition is a die-hard vegan, and as this bumbling Midwestern fellow approached me for what I'd guess were initially directions, I ended up yelling "FOOD BALL" repeatedly while staring intently at the ground, altering my inflection to see what sounded best.  By my sixth or seventh "FOOOOOD BALL" I finally noticed the guy just as he and his tropical banana shirt were rapidly veering away from me.  I can't wait till he tells his "crazy New Yorker" story to the kin back in Casper.

Even though I may have given given a tourist a potentially delayed heart attack, I did get down the naturalness of my "FOOD BALL".  Today... was a good day.

-- Ashley Avis

From A Mother On Mother's Day

Photo_1059 For any mothers out there...or any fathers...or any people who have a mother or had a mother or a parent who fulfilled that mother-role. Happy Day To You. A friend of mine forwarded me this little Audrey Hepburn quote I find appropriate for today.

For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness...
For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
share your food
with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...
People, even more than things, have to be restored,
renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;
never throw out anyone.

And from me to you...walk lightly on the earth today and kiss or hug someone you are grateful for.
I have had a beautiful Mother's Day ...and will continue to. 
--Eve White

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