And You Can't Make Me

This has been a rough year for me with very, very little acting work.  I can't help but be scared to tears sometimes that maybe this is as far as I'll ever get.  But I hope that's not true and I plan to keep trying.

One thing people are always quick to suggest is that I write and produce my own stuff – either on stage or via YouTube or whatever.  And my response to that is always: "I don't write."  To which everyone always then responds: "Ohhh… Nooo… you can write.  I'm sure you can write…"

I'm sorry.  I think you misunderstood.  It's not that I feel I cannot write, it is that I do not want to write.

That's right.  So sue me.

Look, I went to art school for visual art.  I'm a good actress.  I can sew, bake, write blogs (haha), I work out, I co-host a reading series, I audition like crazy and I work a full-time job.  And eventually, someday, I'd like to be a girlfriend to some lucky, hilarious guy and have time enough to brunch and window shop and snuggle (aw!).  My schedule is already pretty full and now I need to write, too?  No, thank you.  I have neither the talent nor the burning desire.  So stop trying to "encourage" me.

It's not that I'm against it and will shun every opportunity – it's not that.  If some perfectly ripe subject matter were to come along, or something that resonated within me, then I'd be on it, man.  I would.  And maybe someday it will come along.  But until then I'm not about to force myself to do something I don't naturally feel drawn to just so I can feel like I'm a cast-able actress.  I am already a cast-able actress.  It's… just… I dunno what it is. 

But it better change for the better... and soon.  Or I'll be forced to do something desperate.

--Susan Atwood

PS - Will write a follow-up to Friday's show once I get photos!

Comments

[frances]

dear susan,

just a little note to let you know someone else shares your fears. we all go through periods when we wonder if we'll ever work again and, as freelancers, that's not really crazy thinking. you have a great reel and a wonderful diversity of looks - i know LA isn't for everyone but if you're unsatisfied by the volume of work in NY and you have no man, kids or elderly parents to keep you from a west coast foray, you might wanna think about it. you quite obviously belong on "The Office" or whatever future single-camera-show-set-in-corporate-America that the people who actually WANT to write are currently hatching.