Flabby

Okay, so I've been back for two weeks or so now... Back from vacation, back from the holidays, back from shooting a movie late at night, and I find I'm still "flabby."

While I've noticed a few people at the gym put on a few pounds as I most likely did taking off a few too many workouts, and eating a few too many things that didn't fit with in my "normal" diet... Today I'm really talking about self-motivational and self-discipline flabbiness.

"There's more rolls in here than in the bakery section of Ralphs."

Today I put aside the day to get back on the self-motivated work horse and get back to it... Yes, there are many reasons not to write, not to "red pen" a script, not to sketch out a new story... And there are many, many distractions that I've gotten far too used to being distracted by. But no one's ever going to write for me, and no one's going to ever notice if I don't do it...

However, it's been a constant battle since 7 AM... I fought with myself to get to early Yoga, and have fought with myself to sit still and work on a script I haven't touched since before shooting the film in December... I found my attention constantly wavering... "Why should I bother, no one's going to buy it anyway..." "There's a strike on, I can't even show it to anyone..." "There are so many things so much more fun to do..."

At least I can say that when I found myself procrastinating today, I was actually doing things that I've been also procrastinating in doing... I started writing fund-raising letters for a non-profit I'm helping, I made appointments with my tax lady and a new singing teacher... I copied more sheet music... Course I checked my email about a bazillion times... But I did move one possible short film project a little further along in the course of those correspondences and found out the status of two other projects.

Around 4PM I found myself so distracted with little things that I packed up a bag and went to the little local library branch... Just to sit and focus. Course there I picked up more new music, and distracted myself with that for a little while...

But, at 7:37 PM I'm happy to report that after a day of really having a difficult time staying on course... I did accomplish the "red pen" pass I intended to complete...

I guess it's a muscle, self-motivation and self-discipline... Like Yoga or Swimming or Weights, when you take time away... Starting back is difficult... And the first few times back is difficult... But hopefully, soon enough, it won't be so difficult... And hopefully soon enough either will be Healthy Foods, Yoga, Swimming and/or Weights.

-- Quiche My Unmotivated Undisciplined Flabby Caboose Goodbye ~ Tom Kiesche