Unscripted - A Blog for Actors

Music Makes it Better

I've been recording some flute tracks for my man's latest project.  I haven't used that part of my brain in a long while and it awakened that dormant part of myself that I miss and love.  It's pretty cool to be able to contribute creatively in the recording.  And now messing around and learning a little more about ProTools, bouncing ideas off other musicians, and giving my two cents in the mixing is...well, a freakin BLAST!

So now I've been pretty distracted immersing myself into the flute and the keys and the Mac, disappearing into melodies, bass lines, and grooves.  My notations can't keep up with the phrases and hooks I hear in my head.  And it makes me crack up that, not unlike my writing, I've got so many ideas of roots of songs, but have only completed a few.

The beauty with music though is that I find it far easier to collaborate with other musicians and actually get something down.  I've experimented with collaborative writing only briefly and it doesn't seem as easy.  Though maybe I haven't given it enough of a chance...or found the right people with whom to collaborate would probably be more accurate.

I guess my first love has and always will be music.  Less analytical, less intellectual, easier to dive into anywhere at any time.  I've been bitten.  Again.

--Ming Ming

A New World

After having my digital camera for 2 years, I finally realized it had a video camera switch to it!  It works very well, too.  My traditional video camera is a bulky dinonsaur, the type where you actually put a VHS tape into the camera.  It works, though.  But I just haven't felt the urge to lug that monster around on my shoulder.

Well, I tested my compact camera out and also tested its translating to Youtube.  Works like a charm!  So I'm thinking that I might take the camera around New York City with me and provide some video, some funny and/or enlightening New York moments for the Unscripted crowd.

My nephews tend to send me very funny Youtube videos.  Youtube seems to be the new television.  With the writer strike on, will the already dwindling TV audience defect to Youtube?  Have they already and have I been as out of it as my archaic albatross of a video camera?

It seems like a new world.  We actors need to take note of the changes!

--Jim Todd

Sunny Side Up

Jesus, people take life too damn seriously. I do it pretty often myself. We all find excuses for WHY we take life too damn seriously. Unless you have a crippling disease then shut up and smile, yeah? Here's the top ten complaints in Los Angeles I've heard recently:

10. It's that time of the month. (Ladies)

I've used this excuse before myself.
Look, don't let your bloody ax wound get in the way of your good life. It's hard, I know.

9. My so-and-so ain't putting out enough. (Generally, men)

Get creative, and deal. Or find a new so-and-so. Believe me there are women out there that LOVE putting out!

8. Financially, I'm a wreck.

First of all...stop THAT thought in it's tracks and replace it with: Financially I am learning...or whatever.

7. My love life is non-existent/I keep meeting the wrong person.

I joined Match.com recently and it did all the work for me. If you're busy and you want a new pond to swim in, give it a try. And BE PICKY. I had over 200 responses within the first two WEEKS. Within two months I met two great guys: one is now a good friend who has helped me out several times and the other is a growing relationship...

6. I'm bored.

Only boring people get bored. Take a class, get a life, make new friends. Go for a freakin WALK. Do SOMETHING.  At the very least stop talking about how bored you are. 

5. My Ex has done asshole behavior #438.

I'm learning that you can't change them, you can only change yourself. And remember that we all do asshole behaviors from time to time, but that doesn't mean we're assholes.

4. I'm not working.

Then create your own goddamn work and stop bitching. I HATE hearing that from fellow actors. What are you? A completely incompetent idiot without a brain? If that is the case, please leave town so the rest of us don't have to hear your whining and get a job in a factory because apparently you can only be a useful member of society when people are telling you what to do and we don't need any more of those HERE unless you're on an assembly line somewhere.

3. I don't feel like I belong.

I'm working on this one. Feeling like a misfit  sucks. But if you consider that this town is full of misfits and that sort of makes us all perfect for each other here... Then we all fit. Wherever we choose to be.

2. My butt, belly, or whatever is too big. I'm fat, I hate my body...

Get on a treadmill. Shut up PLEASE and just do the work to get un-fat. And stop giving us skinny-fit girls who work our ASSES off to look like this flak for looking like this. Most of us work really hard for it.

1. The Traffic and/or The Weather

We can only control so much. Maybe buy a hybrid, or a bike, or walk. I'm looking at paying more in rent to move closer to where I work because it's a wash with the gas money from driving where I am now... but I'd pollute the world less and be on the road less...and really, it's all connected.

That's it for today.

Ciao,

--Eve White

Model Actor

My commercial agent made me go to an audition the other day that I tried to pass on.  The original message she left on my voicemail was something about the client accepting submissions of models, which I am no longer.  They were looking for a "pretty, non-waifish girl, clean hair and make-up, for a "smile and bite," (i.e. no copy), blah, blah, blah.

When I called her back I told her straight out I don't go on model calls and if they want a "pretty girl to smile and bite," I'll pass.  I've gone on enough of these auditions to have a good idea of when they'll likely be just a waste of my time. 

Unfortunately, she lovingly started giving me hell saying they submitted my photo and I was specifically asked to be seen, blah, blah, blah.  She continued on yelling, "If I didn't think it'd be worth your while, I would never have bothered calling you in the first place!"  I yelled back, "Okaaaaay, FINE!" and reluctantly tried to look my best clean hair and make-up model/actor self and went to the stupid audition.

At least it was quick. 

But I have to say once again how degrading it is to be filmed from every possible angle, displaying my profile, my ass, my teeth, and my hands like a mutt in a dog show.  I'm surprised the casting director didn't send her gay little cronie over to stick his fingers in my mouth to check my gums and squeeze the kitty to make sure my bagina was in tact, then make me prance around the room, and feed me a treat.

While I do appreciate the hard work our commercial agents put into getting us these auditions, I think next time I won't let her bully me into going when my gut is telling me to pass and I've got other things to do that won't make me detest being an actor.

Smile and bite this.

--Ming Ming

Porn Machine

So, there are these thing on or under our desks, or on tables in front of us in coffee shops... Things connected to wires, or radio waves, some how connected to other computers through some wild electronic webbing. Did you realize these contraptions can be used for more than just gossip finding, reading blogs, and watching people take a bat in the balls on video sharing sites?

Why just this morning I read up on (and watched) the most recent debates, finding more about the presidential candidates, and last night I exercised my fingers, as I started teaching myself how to play remedial piano, and relearning how to read notes on the Treble Clef thingy-dooey...

Step one - Relearn how to read music.
Step two - Learn how to read the Bass Clef.
Step three - Learn where notes are on the keyboard.

I did say "remedial." I don't imagine I'll be playing with two hands or entire songs any time soon, but within a few days I'll be able to plunk out a melody and learn how to sing a few simpler songs, without having to pay $50.00 an hour to have someone plunk out the melodies for me.

The keyboard I purchased also came with some sort of learning software DVD, but I'm embarrassed to say that all those buttons and functions and lights and whammie gizmos is a little intimidating on day one.

Quiche Clef-t ~ Tom Kiesche

Commercials Are A Trip

As another blogger here noted recently – if you are pursuing commercial acting, you need to have a valid passport.  In fact, this is probably a good idea for all actors, come to think of it, as films can shoot out of the country and there are all sorts of theatrical tours. 

Over the past few years I have been sent out for spots filming in various worldwide locations, including Costa Rica, South Africa, Vancouver and Monaco (I even got a callback for that one – but, alas, I was not cast).  Just the other day I got a callback for a shoot in Buenos Aires.  I am trying not to think about it (and fear that even by writing this, I am jinxing myself), but wanted to echo Stacey’s words o’ wisdom that having a passport is a real necessity.  That call could come tomorrow, and sometimes you have to bring the passport to the audition so they know for sure you have one. 

I’ve also heard numerous opinions on listing your passport and driver’s license on your resume.  Some people say to put it under “special skills”, others say it’s not a skill and to list it under “other”, but many actors don’t have an “other” heading.  My solution was to list these two items on a separate line just below special skills.  And I haven’t heard any complaints.  But other suggestions welcome.

This recent callback also reminded me of how much copy can change between your first audition, all the way through to editing.  So, if you snagged the copy after audition #1 in hopes to be more prepared at callback time… toss it.  For the rum commercial in Monaco, the entire concept changed from first audition to callback.  No longer was it an “average Jane” ditching chores to follow a crowd that leads her to a roof party where she celebrates by dancing on her laundry basket – now it was a low-key party goer sipping a cocktail and chatting with a neighbor. (SNORE! The first concept was way more fun, if you ask me.)

Same with the recent callback – my character went from zero lines to 12 list-like lines of items and prices, with my only interruption being a quick “No” from the other actor.  That was a huge, wordy change and it’s a good thing they were running an hour behind, as it gave me a chance to memorize enough so I wouldn’t have to fumble with glancing between cue card to customer.

I think it all went OK, though I'm trying really hard not to think about it!

--Susan Atwood

Funny

I was talking to two attractive Aussie ladies who were on holiday, a bit lost in Manhattan.  They sheepishly admitted they were looking for the "Friends" apartment building.

I laughed at that.  If I love a movie, I'll go to its various locations so I was no one to judge.  But I couldn't advise them.  I am not aware of there being a real exterior apartment shot for that tv show that everybody but me seems to have liked.

I wished them well, but I couldn't judge.  I once had to trek out to Blairstown, NJ just so I could take pictures of various locations used in the original Friday the 13th.

When I was in California, I had to also drive down N. Roxbury Drive in Beverly Hills to photograph Lucille Ball's house.  Don't tell anyone!  I'm a loser.

There's a bit of Hollywood tourist in all of us!

--Jim Todd

Taking It On The Chin

That thing which kept me from the film screening last week finally overwhelmed me.  I stayed home the last couple days, needing rest – mentally and physically – and managed to devour If Chins Could Kill... almost completely uninterrupted.

Great book.  Though a bit of an emotional roller-coaster because while part of me is so totally in love with the determination, drive and sheer ballsiness (is that a word?) these guys had in making their first feature-length film… part of me was also (in typical middle-child fashion) jealous and sort of regretful that I’ve never lived through/created anything similar. 

I mean, I have experienced what it's like – forging ahead sleepless and utterly fatigued, against all odds and beyond what I've thought myself capable of all in order to finish a project I feel passionate about – enough to know that it can be wildly exhilarating… but never to that degree:  Four years from conception to finish and all the weeks in between spent dirt poor and weary in the freezing cold woods while covered in corn syrup (and, subsequently, flies).

I’m sure I'll write more about it later on as it digests in my head.

Last night I managed to haul my butt to a callback for that Irish play.  The first part of the callback was more step dancing.  Only this time there was way less room to stand let alone dance, and the choreography was much more intricate… and without a lot of explanation.  I mean, he'd stop to show you if you asked – but just once, and then he'd keep right on going.

I don't want to make excuses for my poor showing, but I know I could have gotten it with a hair more practice (and without the girl ahead of me reversing directions and nearly colliding with me on several occasions), and would definitely have mastered whatever steps for the final performance.

BUT, this was how it went.  And after the dance portion, I wasn't asked to stay.  Had I any energy at all left in body or spirit, I would have felt really bad.  But I just half-heartedly bit back a tear, shrugged it off and shuffled home where I dove into finishing Chins.

Then, this morning, I got an email from the director expressing his “regret” that he could not cast me.  "Whatever", I thought, "Thanks for the effort but we already know we got a 'No’ last night when you let us go”.

But then I noticed this email wasn’t a blind-copy – it was an email to me, specifically.  Sure, he may have sent the same email to others, but that would be a lot of effort… so maybe he really means it???

Anyway, part of it reads:  “I truly appreciate meeting you…Keep auditioning, as you are a bright light, and we have so few.”

It doesn’t take the sting away entirely, but it helps.  I’m very grateful that he took the time to write kind words – boilerplate or not.  I needed it.

Sláinte.

--Susan Atwood

WARNING: Contains "Adult" Content

I'm not sure I would call what this particular post contains, "Adult," as I see it as completely inexperienced, naive, stupid, immature, without self-respect, or without moral compass.

Yesterday, was actually a good day for me, I think posting a depressed ramble late at night of utter confusion helped me wake with some clarity. That, and my alarm clock sprang to life with Adam Corolla saying something to the effect of "Accomplishment is the best form of therapy... Get off your ass." From my bed to Yoga, where my teacher's opening talk was about, figuring out who puts what thoughts into our heads... Who's voice is saying, "you're not worthy..." or "you're not good enough."

From there I created a list, and started on it... Course I tackled the biggest first, and spent the entire day fixing computer problems which have extended into this morning. But none of that has anything to do with this post... Though, I find it funny that my list got bigger, because of stuff I tried to cross off of it.

This post is about a friend of mine who I turned down to shoot head-shots for... This is the deal, I've shot some head-shots for a few friends of mine. People I want to hang out with for a few hours. People I want to help. People I think could help. I charge them a fraction of what "professionals" cost... Anyway, on a few occasions I've shot people I didn't know particularly well, through a trusted a good friend's recommendation... I don't waste time "meeting" with people to sell myself... And if anyone is considering shooting with an other photographer, I recommend that's what they do.

Yesterday a good friend asked me if I'd shoot a "friend" of hers... Someone she's mentoring. She would pay for the cost of the photos just to give this person a leg up. At first I had some interest in knowing more about who I'd be shooting... Then I found out... This young "Adult," (over 18) had gotten shots done on his own... Submitted to agents/managers... Met with someone that said they would represent them... But for that, ended up, bent over a desk... On his knees... And basically getting F'ed over in the end, literally.

While I feel sorry for this person, there is no way I want my name in any way attached them. If this person has such low self-esteem, such little brain power, to "fall" or "bend over," for such bullshit... If they're that needy... Desperate.

Look, I don't do porn, but maybe in that business, that sort of behavior is expected and accepted... But in the business I know, if someone wants to work with you, it'd because of MONEY... They think YOU can make them MONEY... If they just want in your damn pants, that's what it's about...

Here's some advice that's probably way too remedial for any one reading this blog... And it's only my opinion... Keep your pants on, your skirt down, and only use your mouth to smile and speak out of when meeting with Casting Directors, Agents, Managers, Producers or Directors... This biz is hard enough on the mind, body and esteem... You don't have to make it harder by... Enough said.

Now, while there may be examples of people who "slept" their way to stardom... Is that what you want to do...? Is that the legend you want to leave? The story you want to write?

Me? I'd rather be a working actor doing it the "right" way, and keep as much self-respect as I can. Or I'd rather else find something else to do.

Instant fame is extremely rare and often fleeting...

"Every over-night success in show biz is ten years in the making." - I have a few stories on that one, but that's another blog or two.

So my advice...

-- Quiche Your Pants On ~ Tom Kiesche

Are You Kidding Me?

I missed a print audition yesterday because my agent never called  me.  Actually,  an intern at the agency never called me because I don't even know who my agent is at that agency anymore.  At the end of the day, I came home to a nice little email detailing an audition I had that day, with a new casting director no less.  Ironically the email read, "Sorry for the late notice!"  Are you kidding me?  Totally unacceptable.

Apparently, it's just what I needed to pick up the phone and do a little bitching. 

Let me explain, lest I sound totally apathetic to the whole situation thus far.  I had a great print agent at this agency once upon a time.  I loved her.  She hand picked me, pitched her qualifications and I signed.  In the first two months I was with her, I booked twice and had three avails!  She memorized lists of casting directors who already knew me and my work.  She pitched me.  She came to my little theatre show.   She even called me once from the hospital to make sure I had all the info I needed for a job!  She was awesome. 

Two months later...well, I don't know know what happened.  If walls could talk.  My agent became very sick and was in the hospital for some time.  I sent flowers and emails.  I don't know what she was battling, but when she came back her office was gone and things got ugly.  I insisted she receive her commissions, but I don't know if she did.  I found myself in the curious position of writing her a glowing recommendation.  I hope, eventually, she ends up somewhere great and rebuilds her client base.   

I was soon informed that I was one of the "good" clients, and that the agency was "keeping me" on the roster.  I thought eventually I would team up with my original agent but that hasn't worked out yet and I didn't get any bites from a targeted mailing for new representation, so I became apathetic to the whole situation and schlepped to my one audition every two or three months, because hey, it was an audition and I had several more avails, so I wanted to hang onto that extra nugget of potential money.

2008 arrived and I was determined to set things straight or walk.  I emailed my supposed agents -- supposed because I've never met them and I've only ever talked to interns at the agency because they are "so busy"--and asked if they could spare 10 minutes for a face to face meeting.  We'd never met.  I had new headshots.  I'd been a proven money maker.  But I wanted to know if the print division had any priority at the agency anymore before I spent a ton of money updating my profiles.   A few weeks passed.  I sent an email again.  Nothing.  What did I expect?

Obviously, I don't care enough to disguise my disdain in this blog.  I demanded that I talk to my agent yesterday and let him know that it was unacceptable to not receive a call for an audition.  I was put on hold while some poor intern probably received a lashing and then was put on the phone to apologize for his error.  I told him mistakes happen.  I told my agent that he needed to get me in for an appointment the next day if they were still casting and that he needed to let the casting director know that my no-show was their error.  He then says, "I've been meaning to contact you about that meeting you wanted to set up.  Has anyone from our office done that yet?" 

Right. 

I want my old agent back.  Can you do anything about that?

--Stacey Jackson

Money Grubbers

For the last five or so years here in New York City, there have been virtually no beggars on the streets.  I have that face that everybody either asks for directions (which I gladly oblige) or asks for money.   Five years at least, where I was not approached anywhere or anytime. 

During the last six months, however, there has been a massive uptick of beggars on the streets.  Where have they come from?  I leave the theatre and walk to the subway and I am approached twice.  I get to the Port Authority building and I'm approached, yet again.  Three times in one day, every day.

This new breed is very aggressive, too.  They don't take No for an answer.  They badger, they plead.  Or they tell you "Have a nice day," with such venemous persecution.

I mention this because as actors we are subject to equally aggressive money-grubbing beggars in the industry.  They are, but not limited to:

a.) Photographers.  The headshot industry is one big racket.  Always has been, but with digital photography it really shows how ludicrous the posed "headshot" has become.  You can decide who you would sleep with by an amatuer's snapshot of themselves with their digital camera.  Surely you can figure out if you want to call in an actor from the same photo.  Racket!

b.) Agents who send you for new headshots.  Hey agent friend of mine, can you send your old friend the photographer some new meat?

c.) Casting directors who send you for new headshots or who insist you need "a reel."  Who are you kidding?  You barely peruse people's resumes but you're going to be watching their reels?  You want my reel?  I have it on digital video, uploaded to Youtube.  Sorry I didn't pay your friend to have it done. 

d.) Acting schools.  Please.  How long are you going to train?  Get out.

e.) Workshops.   Smarmy way of getting you to pay them to accept your resume.   

And so it goes.  Grub all you want.  Badger all you want.  Plead all you want.  I'll give you directions, but I'm not giving you money.

--Jim Todd

Numb

At times I find it difficult to write these blogs and keep it simply about the life of an actor, or I suppose in my case, the life of several different "slashes"... But everything that happens, that my eyes or ears witness, that my mind dreams up, that my soul touches, or that I feel in any way, whether through sympathetic or empathic means are all part of my life. However, in this blog I'm often much more comfortable writing about my career, or things that have a direct or a simple to follow indirect route to the path of my career...

I don't get tend to get too into my personal life on this thing, so when there's a work stoppage on, and auditions are slower than a slow thing on a cold slow day... Well, writing for this blog isn't the easiest of easy.  Combine that with a few things that I'd rather not write about in a public forum, and what do I have to offer?

My younger brother, the one who owns a design firm, the one that hired me to write ad copy for an ice cream joint where I grew up, called today... He needed a peppy new sentence to lead into the brochure that the frozen dairy stand was having him create... After scads of suggestions, I came up with "You can't spell fun without F.U." I have no idea why, I have no idea why I found that so funny, and I have no idea why that stupid suggestion stuck with me all day.

"You can't spell fun without F.U."

It had nothing to do with the brochure, but man did it make me laugh.

Do you ever wake up in a place where you're neither pro the day or against the day, but things unfold... And you just get spun negatively...

First was... Well, I don't want to write about that...  I don't want to write about all the horrible wishes I wished upon someone that... Or people that... Let me just say this... On behalf of Unions.

Unions work like a dam that takes 100 people holding 100 pieces in place... When 1 person who is supposed to be in the union does not do their job, but walks away for their own personal benefit and not the benefit of the whole... The dam is weakened.

Yes, the dam is probably still going to hold because someone like me or one of the other 99 people will hold our piece, and put a hand on that 1 person's piece that walked away.  It pisses me off a little that 1 person is still enjoying all the benefits of the dam that 99 of us are holding. And that 1 selfish mother is not making any sacrifices.

When a 2nd person walks away for their own personal benefit... Someone else has to lend a hand and hold that person's piece of the dam... And when the 3rd?

Now ask yourself... How many people can walk away before there's not enough people holding the pieces of the dam... To keep a dam worth holding?

And when that dam goes, and there's nothing left... Not for me, not for you, not for the other people holding the dam... Not for future dam holders... And not for those that were supposed to be holding the dam, but weren't. Well, there won't be any thing left for them either, not that I give a damn about any of those selfish pricks.

This blog isn't going well...
I'm switching subjects...

My new singing teacher, in a very heavy Russian accent told me that Judy Garland used to say "F.U." behind the curtain to the audience before every show... I don't know if that's true or not... But I've done that before... Before a show... Just to get that attitude that, well if they're going to judge me regardless,  "F" them I have to do it for myself. That's sort of how I feel about singing right now... I just want to sing what I want to sing... And not jump through hoops for anyone else.

"You can't spell fun without F.U."

Singing... The practicing of singing is bringing so much stuff up... Every other song is about love. Lack of love. Being in love. Losing love. Filling dreams. Losing dreams. Stars in eyes.  I quite literally couldn't get through one song today as I was trying to learn it... Maybe it's the vibrations that happen when you sing... Maybe they touch nerves that normally I don't let get touched...

You ever watch American Idol? For whatever reason I've been watching the most awful, worst, auditions on YouTube an Google Video lately... I'm not sure why... I'm not sure what I'm learning... Usually when I get so entrenched in something I come out with a tremendous lesson.

Maybe I have already. First I'm really amazed by the delusional behavior of some of these people. It's almost amazing how brilliant some people think they are, when in reality they are equally as horrific as they thought they were genius. Some where they have tuned out reality, said "F.U." to it and are just having fun. Most of the time they've reached a level of miserable, because they're all trying to be something they aren't... They're trying to mimic Cher or Madonna... They're putting on a voice... They're putting on a dress... They're trying to be cute... Trying to have a gimmick...  Trying to impress by showing 3 octaves... They aren't just expressing themselves. They aren't just singing. They aren't being true to themselves... For themselves...

This blog really isn't going well...

Today I  had to stop rewrites on a script I put away at the end of last spring. At the time I put it away I couldn't seem to work on it any longer and figured a break from it might do me some good. Well, it didn't... I started the rewrites on Saturday, and by the time I got to page 50 this morning, I felt like I had been beaten with a ball-peen hammer... The script is like a love affair with deep self-hatred. One scene after another is just like being slammed upon the jagged rocks of a jetty.

"Do all writers have to have so much angst?" I overhear a counter person asking a woman with her laptop as she grumbles her breakfast order this morning... "Does it inspire creativity?"

She smiled, and said something, but it wasn't worth remembering for this blog... Her being a writer, she's probably writing something about it herself right now...

Angst... Maybe... But I don't know if Angst inspires anything but Angst.

It's always a tell tale sign my Angst is showing when I find myself searching for last minute flights out of Burbank Airport at 10 AM in the morning looking for an escape... Or when I cruise Craigslist looking for life ideas... When the though of starting to do drugs seem to have some appeal... When I think about turning toward the bottle... When I wish I had a wagon to fall off of... But sadly I know that there's just another cap to come off when another bottom is raised... And not one of those solutions fixes the real issue.

But when I go on a walk and find myself singing Johnny Cash's version of HURT over and over... Only to change it to WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD, after having a homeless guy smile at my "Howdy," a rocker chick with a stud in her lip thank me for holding a door, watching an Old Man take 30 seconds to navigate off a curb, while the Old Woman he was with watched from the outside of the passenger door of a 1960 something beat up blue piece of Americana...

What the hell am I writing about... Oh yeah, the life of an actor... I mean, the life of a variety of "slashes."

You know something, besides the rent being due every month, and bills coming each month... Not a whole lot is predictable in life... Well, besides that time continues... That some day, if I'm lucky, I'll be an old man navigating his way off a curb... Course I hope I'm like 121 when that's happening... But still.

Of all the things I could have done tonight, do you know what I did... I rented a movie... Not even a genre I watch... I watched a horror flick... One of the scariest the clerk had seen recently... Usually I avoid "scary" films. But what makes me laugh now is that I wish it had been more frightening... Compared to real life... Movie Zombies are bullshit.

-- Quiched Out ~ Tom Kiesche

Falling In The Rain

Today was The Cricket's first day at school! First day of school! She seemed to enjoy the new environment and the stimulation it offered.  Her dad hung with her and helped her make the adjustment as I had to run immediately to work.  8:15 am mat class= UGH. This isn't what I really want to write about though.

I'm processing right now. Relationships, life, love...how things happen.

Why things happen the way that they do.

What it means to be...easy.

Not sexually easy, just AT EASE.

This week/weekend...no acting. Just being. I spent the weekend relaxing with someone I met earlier this month and suddenly...it was Monday again. How did that happen?! Just a few hours ago it was Friday night...where did the entire weekend go? I guess that's what happens when you doze, watch movies, and just spend hours and hours in the easy company of someone you like. Without planning, without expecting. Just following your life minute by minute...

It's always been amazing to me that we can adapt to another human being so easily. ...Just fit someone into our lives like they've always been there and we just recently noticed them. Sometimes it's not easy. Sometimes you struggle and struggle to fit people into your life--maybe it's just bad timing or not meant to be...or not meant to be THEN. Who knows? One thing I do know...that's frustrating and heartbreaking.

It's hard to know why you can fold some people into your life like soft butter and other people just refuse to melt. They stay hard...unwilling for whatever reason, to bend into someone else even when you attempt to bend to them. It should be easy. It should simply happen. And it should be equal. It's important how someone makes you feel, but it's even more important when you both care about how the other feels and whether or not you really want them. Because if you do, really want someone-- and they want you, then the melting happens easily. Suddenly you find yourself in their life and them in yours and it's as if it's always been like that. Someone who is...easy and delightful and sexy and fun... and it didn't come out of the clear, blue, sky...it came out of the mists and the rain...

I have no idea what happens next and I don't really want to know. Each day is like opening a fortune cookie and finding a different message inside. No expectations, simply good. Appreciating all of it. Good things are happening. Personally and professionally--I simply feel in harmony.

--Eve White

HB Ensemble & James LaChere

Last night I attended the most beautiful memorial service, for fellow actor and HB Ensemble member, James LaChere.  (See previous blog entitled "James LaChere" in January posts.)

It was great to meet his family and hear such wonderful things said about him from teachers and friends.

Everyone who spoke of him mentioned how open and giving he was.  That's what I noticed first about him when I met him for the first time.

A very talented, giving, friendly, funny and warm soul.  He's going to be missed by many.

I've spent so many years at HB Studio and I'd say that last night was the most memorable evening in that first floor studio ever.  It just really made me proud to be associated with every good person there.   It made me realize how wonderful, kind, funny, talented and good they all are.

Just like James LaChere! 

--Jim Todd

So... How Did It Go?

That's another acting question I always shudder at.  Especially with commercial auditions – because how on earth can you gauge how you did?  The people in the room may not be the same as those calling you back or casting you, so how you’re initially received may be moot.  And, those auditions are generally quick, with the lines and instructions thrown at you, your performance and the final “thank you” all happening in minutes.  And lastly, there’s a barrier between you and the CD – a camera, possibly a cue card, a monitor and some lights – so you have no way of reading the viewer, and while they may give direction for a second or third take (for variety’s sake), it usually doesn't include commentary.

So, unless you inexplicably mangle the copy or spontaneously combust – there’s no way to tell.

With a theatre audition, you can get a better sense.  And yesterday’s combined audition went… well, but was not without hitches.

For some reason, I found myself almost blanking on the lines.  Bizarre since I had them down cold, yet understandable I guess, since it was my first time performing this piece.  I also found my lower lip twitching slightly due to nerves – but was able to use the shakiness with the tone of the monologue. 

Afterward, one guy asked if I had a comedic piece.  Well, I've had a few, but kicked them all to the curb months ago when I realized I'd been doing them for so long I’d become desensitized to them.  I’ve searched high and low to replace them, but good comedic pieces for women – where the characters are not displaying some neurotic tendencies – are scarce.  I do have a classical comedic monologue which I’d run through my head the night before after watching Moliere (LOVED it, btw), but wasn’t sure that was right for this group. (Though now I'm kicking myself for not asking.)

Anyway, I stood there stunned that they wanted more – I never realized it was a possibility! – and hastily dug through my brain which had become shallow and empty under the shock and the general stress of auditioning.  But before crickets started to chirp, I grabbed the first solution that presented itself:  I announced that I had a serio-comedic piece that wasn’t uproariously funny (truth be told, it’s not really funny at all), and asked if they’d like to see that.  They did.  So, I added a hefty does of sarcasm to the lines and actually got a few laughs.  I felt sort of like the MacGyver of the acting world – all I needed to get out of that mess was an old monologue, a few eye rolls and all the sarcasm of a fourteen year-old.  Who knew?

(Of course, I don't know how they all really felt – maybe it was pity laughter.)

So… I was disappointed about the shakiness, the mushiness of a few lines and my unpreparedness to have an alternative piece – but I was deeply flattered that they asked to see more.  Not bad.

--Susan Atwood

Inspiring Some Times & How

I don't do too many plugs on this blog... Some times I'm not sure why that is, some times I know exactly why that is...  I think it started off because I didn't want to alienate some people, and at times I want the experience or story that I'm writing about, to be more to you, than just the specific story it is to me.

Tonight I went and saw a feature film Co-written by a friend of mine, directed and Co-written by a friend of his. Shot by the same D.P. that shot the movie I acted in this past December... And Co-executive produced by a friendly acquaintance, a good friend of several good friends of mine, a guy I've met several times, a guy that has donated through me, to a non-profit I've raised money for in the past. Oh and I know two of the actors that played minor characters, having worked with both of them on small stages here in LA.

I don't know if this blog has anything to do with both of those above paragraphs or not... Or if it has more to do with the fact that after seeing the movie, all of us were invited next door for sushi on the management company... Yeah free food, maybe even drinks... I don't know.

And why don't I know you may be asking...

Well, I went next door, and I couldn't settle... At times I get like that... I get socially awkward, like I'm missing a mingling gene or something... Not all the time, but some times. Some times I just don't know what to do with myself... Often, after I remove myself from the situation, I'm able to assess what's going on inside me, and what stirred it up...

This time it was that I was super jazzed...

I'm extremely happy for all my friends and acquaintances that are affiliated with the movie... I found it entertaining and I was really glad I saw it. That I contributed to the opening weekend box office numbers. And I'm also really glad I was at the Q & A afterwards...

You know, I've been writing this blog for almost a year now... Before starting with this blog (and while writing this blog) I was blogging on Myspace (which is what eventually led Backstage to me). Anyway, writing 3 or 4 of these things a week, for over a year... Well, I've written a lot of things, so you'll have to forgive me if I repeat something... I mean, I'm only so freaking deep.

Even when I wasn't singing, or in vocal shape to be singing, when ever I hear a really great singer, either in a musical, or in a band, or at a piano at a friend's house, who's loving what they're doing, and they're talented... I always have such a desire to get up and sing with them... Or I sing in my car all the way home... Or I wake up singing the next morning... Or I sing in the shower for days...

When I see a play that I really enjoy, and the people in it are really enjoying themselves... I always have such a desire to get up and play with them... Or look to write something for that theater company... Or get in a play... Or read the play... Or find out more about the director, actors, writer...

When I see a dance performance... Well, I don't have the desire to get up there and dance with them, as I'm not a dancer... But honestly, part of me wishes I had that talent of expression... Same with painting... Piano playing... And other creative things people do in this world...

I get inspired by really good work, talented people, and people doing what they love... Quite honestly, I've met several people in this world that aren't in a "creative fie ld" and their love for what they do, is equally as attractive... All sorts of careers, all sorts of people.

I think watching my friends' film tonight made me feel like that...

Sure, I would have loved to have played a certain lead role, sure... But honestly, I would have loved to have been a small part of it as well...

Some times I watch a TV series and I feel that same way... I've even told my agent a few times... "Hell, I'll do one freaking line on that show, just to be part of that show."

I know this isn't an exclusive feeling to me, I've heard other actors and creative people talk about doing "walk ons" or "cameos" just because they wanted to be part of it, for whatever reason...

But there I was tonight, there... Watching something I was/am so close to, wishing I had been a part of it... I'm not at all upset that I wasn't... Not at all disappointed that I wasn't... Because some how I am... Somehow...

You notice how many  "some times" and "some hows" are in this blog already...?

That was level one...

Level two was the Q & A...

Listening to the two of them speak... Hearing their answers... It was very inspiring... I mean here are two guys... Guys like me... Guys that do small theater... Guys that I've worked with... Guys I know... And they're standing in front of a theater answering questions after a theater full of people just watched their film...

Okay, yes, this is not new to me... I've had several friends make movies... I've had several friends have screenings... I've had several friends have different successes... But for whatever reason the timing of this one hit me harder than I can remember others hitting me.

Maybe it was because I did enjoy the movie, maybe it was because I had so many ties to the film, maybe it was because of the answers that were given... Maybe it was because the cast list includes such names as Sarah Michelle Gellar, Brendan Fraser, Emile Hirsch, Forest Whitaker, John Cho, Julie Delpy, Kevin Bacon and Andy Garcia. Maybe... Maybe it's because my friends and friends' friends are, at least for the moment, in the Big Leagues.

That was level two...

Level three, was also in the Q & A...

This project was six years in the making. Six years. Hearing the director talk about some of his meetings with certain actors... And hearing what he had prepared, and went in with for some of his meetings, was inspiring...

I think some of the feelings that came up also had to do with... Well, while I do feel that I work extremely hard at this career, and I do feel like I put a lot of thought into this career... And a lot of passion... And time... And love... Some times I have WAY too much self-doubt. Perhaps these two had it as well, but they certainly persevered, and they got it done, and there it was on the big screen... And I watched it.

Congratulations Bob, Jieho, Walt, Christopher, Josh, Will, 110 Sanchezs and Rodriguezs  (read the credits... as it was shot in Mexico City), and all those other people that have or had anything to do with the film "The Air I Breathe."

And now, after blogging, I'm off to sing, write, rewrite, act, and maybe even dance while I play a kazoo in the rainy night. You should all know that if I ever do achieve greatness, you, as have several others, played a part of the inspiration that  help get me there.

--  Quichespired To Create ~ Tom Kiesche

Type, Age and Hair

Casting is notoriously done based on stereotypes of people.  An actor has to know his type.

You can be the best auditioning actor they'll see all day, but if you're clearly not the type, if you don't fit the suit, you're not going to get cast.

Having to adjust your self-image, re-evaluate, self-assess (or better, have someone else assess) is part of the ongoing and at times painful quest for employment.

Talk about readjusting, my headshot is over 4 years old. I'm told that I look "the same," but come on there is clearly a change.  I need to update my headshots.  I need color shots.  What am I waiting for? Note to self:  Do it!

I know I'm not realistically going to get cast on a soap opera.  That is not happening.  My hair is thinning and soap opera guys always have freakish wild manes of hair with perfect hairlines. 

Learn your type now, not your type from 10 years ago. 

Accept your type.

(The above was written to myself.  If it applies to you or can help you, I'm glad.)

--Jim Todd

Dan is the Man

Daniel Day-Lewis' performance in There Will Be Blood is simply fabulous.  He's got this tremendous skill of stylizing this character and carving him out with so many layers and depth...it's thrilling to watch.  He is truly the consummate arteest.  For reals.  While other actors strive to recreate reality and naturalism with some poetry, he goes above and beyond once again and gives you an utterly distinct interpretation of Daniel Plainview in the way that an artist like Vincent Van Gogh paints you a portrait.  Really wonderful, wonderful work that would rejuvenate and inspire the likes of any grumpy old apathetic soul.

I thought Paul Dano did a solid job, but I have to say I was ever so slightly disappointed with his performance.  I think if he could have done this a couple years from now, he would have been able to nail it.  It was a massive role and to be able to roll with a heavyweight like Day-Lewis is no small feat.  I can absolutely see and get why he was cast in the role.  But in a film like this, you've got to be flawless and at a point where we shouldn't be able to detect how hard you are trying.  But that's just me being super nit picky.  He did a great job and had some nice moments.

My only other nit picky criticism is I felt there was a bit too much music in the beginning and that whole opening was about 30 seconds too long.  But I thought the style of the music and the use of it throughout the remainder of the film was fantastic and a beautiful complement paralleling and underscoring Day-Lewis' work and the overall story and atmosphere of the film.

It's truly a miracle when a team of people can collaborate and make a film successfully.  And this is one of those films.  There Will Be Blood is an absolute must see for any aspiring actor who wants to see what it's all about.

Bravissimo!

--Ming Ming

Mad Skillz

Does anyone else want to roll their eyes when casting directors go on and on about how important the "special skills" section of your resume is to the casting process?  Did Hilary Swank know how to box like a champ when she was offered "Million Dollar Baby?"  Did Joaquin Phoenix know how to sing when he signed on for "Walk The Line?"  And does anyone think that Keira Knightley spent her childhood perfecting fancy soccer footwork that happened to come in handy for her role in "Bend It Like Beckham?"  (Ab work, maybe.  Soccer moves?  No.)  Interviews indicate that these "special skills" were not listed on any of their resumes.

Just my opinion, but I don't think anyone should run out and take a class or learn a skill for the sole purpose of adding a juicy tidbit to their "special skills" section, with the exception of dialects, but I do think it is a good idea to get out of the acting world every now and then and try something out of curiosity or for sheer fun regardless of whether you will be able to "use" it later on.  Give yourself a break!  Rest your weary actor mind!

I am the biggest offender when it comes to following my own advice.  Anyone else get tunnel vision when it comes to their career?  I find that my days are filled with one, two and sometimes three survival jobs, followed by rehearsals or mailings or on-line submissions, throw in an audition or two and who has time for fun?  Or money to spend on expensive extracurricular activities when you need more headshots, postage, and funds for acting classes?  It could drive a person mad. 

I have wanted to learn to belly dance ever since I was a kid.  I have no idea why.  It just looks exotic and fun.  Every year I promise to just go for it, even though I'm a horrible dancer and have no reason to believe that I would be good at it.  I'm tired of this strike, but it has afforded me a little more time to branch out from my bubble and rekindle my curiosity about the world.  And...come Monday, I'm gonna bust out the belly!  I'm so excited.  I'm going to learn how to use finger cymbals and drums and test my veil work and shimmies.   Good Lord, I hope the studio doesn't have glass windows!

Belly up!

--Stacey Jackson

Some of Glendale's Finest...Firemen!

So, night before last, I had a bit of an adventure. Firemen showed up on my doorstep in full regalia. I was a little embarrassed when I was standing outside and their (3) firetrucks showed up blazing down the street. Me, soaking wet under my pitiful excuse for an umbrella, a little ashamed that I had a power outage and not a huge emergency. You never want to be the person holding up the fire department when other people have true emergencies, however, I did let dispatch know it was NOT an emergency. (Though there was weird zinging and popping sounds coming from the fuse box.)

Let me explain. My power went out. Out for the fourth or fifth time in two months--I've sorta lost count at this point. And for the second time in three days. One fuse shorts and the entire apartment loses power. Yeah, something's not right there. I had tried putting the fuse in myself the first couple of times I lost power, but if you saw my electric fuse box you'd be scared too. Lots of exposed metal and wires wrapped around old looking electrical thingys. This place was built in the 20's and it's never been updated. I got shocked twice. Not the good kind of shock--is there a good kind?--nope. It was the bad kind of : Jesus-I-could-have-died-shock. No more of that, thank you. Unless you're wearing rubber from head to toe (aka: firemen) no one has any business changing those faulty fuses. And the landlord has refused to do anything about it up until now.

Up until I've got the Fire Department on his ass. Apparently, it was the best thing I could have done---get about 6 (very good-looking-hale-and-hearty-firemen) up in arms about the fact that the bungalow I lived in could have started a fire--hot wires and all that...a... hmm. Are we still talking about the fuse box now? They asked for the landlords info and said they'd be sending someone out to let him know that the whole place was not, "up to code". Yay Firemen!

So...it was an interesting night. And...it's still wet here. Raining cats and dogs and little baby hippos I think. How many firemen does it take to turn your fuse-box on?! I was a little disappointed that I didn't get tossed over anyone's shoulders and carried down a ladder... sigh. A girl can dream.

A little scary though...when they say, "Miss, if it goes out again, we can't reset it again. It could start a fire overloading the circuit more than once in 24 hours, so do you have somewhere else to go if that happens?"

Um...no. Not unless you count my car. So...eventually this whole place has to be rewired or I have to move again. Little Public Safety announcement: space heaters= BAD, too much for the electical current...yay cold nights. Oh... and Electrical Outlet Extenders are BAD--they cause fires all the time by overloading circuit capacity in a similar way. The firemen said, that they shouldn't sell those, but they do even though they pose a fire hazard, especially in older buildings. Little FYI there for y'all.

 

'Nighty night...
--Eve White

Puzzling Preparation

I have an exciting audition on Tuesday which, for reasons I can't reveal just yet, I need to nail.  I already have an outline of the script which is amazing in and of itself, so there is really no excuse to be unprepared.  Or is there...

Much to my surprise, the outline of the script is just that, an outline.  The audition on Tuesday will be an improvised group audition based on the character descriptions and scenarios described.  Why do I hate improvised auditions so much?  Past failures (See previous blog).  Bad partners.  All around awkwardness.  The pressure to come up with funny lines.  Competing with actor egos for face time.  The list could go on and on.  I've taken improv classes and I'm usually pigeon-holed into "funny girl," but I'm not auditioning for a writing gig.  Give me some lines and I'll improvise around them.  Give me no lines, and my fear of sinking into a rotten tomato abyss becomes overwhelming.  I'm already stressing and the audition is a whole 4 1/2 days away!

I'm an actor who often over prepares, so I'm at a loss.  All I can do is flesh out the characters in my mind and on paper, and really delve into what makes them tick, so that I can improvise based on those choices.  I need to create a solid base and then take whatever comes my way and trust that the work will be there.

Of course, there are four characters in my age range, so in addition to preparing the one I have my heart set on, I need to flesh out the other three "just in case" I'm asked to switch gears mid-audition.   Basically, the weekend will be spent doing a lot of work based on the hope that I won't completely bite it in the room or audition with a bum group or ruin my professional credibility in front of an important group of people.

Will I sink or swim?  I just don't know.

--Stacey Jackson

Stop the Insanity. Stop the Machine.

Before the explosion of online gossip sites, I was clueless when it came to celebrity gossip.  I had no idea who was hot or not, who wore what to where, and who was fucking whom.  I had stopped being a regular consumer of magazines some time in high school when it finally donned on me that I was paying for albums of advertisements brainwashing me to become some insecure product-whore with an addiction problem.  (Why women feel the need to spend hundreds of dollars on a dozen different moisturizers, one for each part of our bodies, is a mystery to me.)  So while I admit, I would flip through pages of People or some other tabloid in any given waiting room, I never paid for them or read them regularly.

But now? 

I really hate to admit this, but I too click onto those gossip sites.  I had my first taste when a friend of mine who works security at a popular celebrity hot spot here in the city sent me a link to an article.  He was written up in this gossip column for being among the first to refuse Paris Hilton entry.  (And he received more than a few thank-you e-mails from people around the world.)  Lately, I have caught myself checking these gossip sites more frequently.  Every time I get my fix, I snap out of it and try to pry myself away from that life sucking machine I call my laptop.  And I hate myself for it. 

In my defense - as weak as it is - originally, my business and marketing mind was genuinely curious.  I wanted to see if I could decipher how much of this gossip was contrived or masterminded by some PR agent, and how it would play out in consequent record or ticket sales.  How were they able to tweak someone's image or "reinvent" them or stage a comeback.  But then I think around the time Paris was gettin' locked up, and then again when British Britney was being hauled away on a stretcher, I found myself becoming a regular consumer.  Or more accurately, addicted to the celebricrack.

As I watch the sad news coverage about the death of Heath Ledger, I find myself moving from curiosity, to deep sadness, to shame, to anger, to disgust, and then back to curiosity.  Why the hell are we so damn curious?  Whatever it is that fuels our need to witness these people's private lives, it's making somebody serious shitloads of money, which is driving these paparazzi to the point where they are easily willing to risk lives in order to get their money shot and lose any ability to practice some basic human decency and respect another human being enough to let them grieve in peace. 

I know we can't help but put celebrities up on pedestals.  There's billions of dollars spent trying to get us to do just that.  But at the end of the day, ultimately they are just like you and me.  They are not gods and goddesses.  They are human beings.  I realize there's the argument that they've stepped into the public eye when they decided to become actors and being exposed to the world comes with the territory.  But I also believe that everyone should have the right to some privacy.  This technological explosion has turned the rumor mill into a gossip monster like a cancerous tumor as massive as a tsunami and of equal force.  The worldwide irreversible spread of the details of our private lives - true or false - make each of us just as vulnerable as well.  I don't know about you, but that freaks me out.  Of course, there are millions of My Space and Facebook users who would likely vehemently disagree.

I've never met Ledger. I am surprised at how sad I feel.  He was just so young, so immensely talented, and just at the beginning of creating an incredible body of work as an artist.  But ultimately, he was a 28-year-old guy who was somebody's son, brother, nephew, lover, best friend, and father.

If your neighbor was coming back home after learning about their loved one's death, would you stand outside their door with a camera and take a picture of their face so you could show the world evidence of their suffering?  Would you go huddle around an ambulance so you could catch a glimpse of someone's dead body being taken away in a body bag?  Would you wait outside a funeral home waiting to see the family members of this dead person?  Why?  Why?  WHY?????

It's just so strange and disturbing.  And I even hate myself for even writing this blog about it, except that I am perplexed.  I am perplexed by our collective hunger for celebrity gossip and why millions and millions of people in the world feel the need to either build people up to knock them down, or obsess about their personal lives to escape our own, or convince ourselves they are no different from us, and why there aren't more of us who realize that our collective insatiable hunger for more attention and more money is a major detriment to us all and that true wealth and happiness isn't something we will find outside of ourselves.

I chose to be an actor for reasons that I would like to believe have nothing to do with all this other bullshit that comes with enormous success.  Of course, there were times in my life when I thought being super famous and having shitloads of money would be....well, a dream come true.  Being slightly older and wiser, it makes me reconsider pursuing an acting career.  At the very least, how I want to pursue it.  How much does doing commercials and working in television contribute to this machine/disease that I don't want to contribute to?  It's a huge question that I am not sure I can figure out the answer to right now.  In the meantime, I think I'll go cold turkey and abstain from clicking onto those gossip sites.  And if you're on the celebricrack, I hope you might consider doing the same.

--Ming Ming

Shout-out to Unscripted!

As a representative of Back Stage, it's my pleasure to announce that 'Back Stage Unscripted' is one of three finalists for a Jesse H. Neal National Business Journalism Award for Best Blog.  The winner for this category will be announced on March 14th at New York's Waldorf Astoria Hotel.   

Given out by American Business Media, the award recognizes "editorial excellence in business media publications."  Unscripted is listed under the niche publication field -- with less than 100,000 unique readers per month.

All praise belongs to the many regular and guest writers on Unscripted, who open up the details of their lives every day to our readers with intelligence, warmth, and good humor.  Their quality work deserves recognition.

Congratulations!

Tom Penketh
Managing Editor, BackStage.com

Combined Auditions, Etc.

There seems to be a recent wellspring of pay-to-be-seen venues.  While I'm obviously not completely against this premise – as I do use them from time to time – I am skeptical of these new additions to the ever-growing list.  I have no legitimate reason to feel this way, I guess… it's probably just a fear that this is becoming what will be expected of actors, and not just something we do for a little shot in the arm every now and again.

With that being said, a promotional email I got from one such new company caught my eye.  They're organizing a group (combined) theatre audition where actors will be seen by various off and off-off Broadway companies all at once.  Of course there is a fee, but that's not unheard of with these auditions – Strawhats, NETC, New Jersey Theatre Alliance, etc. – and being seen by ten companies (at least – I don't know the actual number, but we've been asked to bring 20 photos) in two minutes definitely sounds like a time and money saver.

So, I'm doing it.  Tomorrow, in fact.  And I'm a weensy bit excited, too.  In a good way.

The monologue classes I've taken (and am so in love with I wish I could marry them) have not only taught me how to search for, pick, direct and play a monologue, but also how to audition as a whole – from the moment I enter the room, until the moment I am out of their sight.  Such thorough and disciplined instruction has given me a lot of confidence and I now trust that I know what I'm doing.  However, I'd become perhaps a little too cock-sure and forgot what an asset it is to have a class full of people (or even just one person) to tell you what they are seeing from the outside.

After struggling with the simple question, "Is this too much movement or not enough?" for about an hour and a half the other night, I finally realized that I don't have to make this decision alone – I can ask for help.  Duh.  So last night I rented a studio for an hour to rehearse my monologue with a friend.  And I have to say it was an enormous help. 

So, I've tucked away a little mental post-it note reminding myself that anytime I pick a new monologue, I should run it by a pal before throwing it against the wall in a real-live audition to see if it stinks… er, I mean sticks.

Oh, also last night after work (5PM) I managed to eek into another Equity audition.  I was the very last person to be seen, but I got in!  So I just want to reiterate to all the other non-union peeps who try and try and try to get into the EPAs that, from my experience, it's always easier to get into the ones not taking place at the AEA Center.

Oh, and if I don't get in I always make sure to drop off a headshot with a cover letter specific to the project stapled to it (so it can't get lost or stuck to other pictures in the stack).   Break legs.

--Susan Atwood

I see, You See, Go-See!

I have to say when I get sent out on one of those I have to bite my tongue and say 'Yes, I'm available'. I felt good about this one coz I was told I had to be there between 1:15 and 1:30 no later or earlier. Okay, seemed like I'd be in and out, and I planned my day accordingly.

Reality check - I was there for about 45 minutes, before I was 'in and out' - literally, 'click - close up; click - mid shot; click- long shot; thank you very much.'

What makes these calls fun sometimes is when a whole bunch of South Asians are around as well - you've either come to know them coz you've worked with them, waited in the audition room with them, or have been introduced to them as a fellow South Asian actor, and on some rare occasions even hung out with them - And when you meet, you invariably haven't seen each other in a while and so a whole lot of catching up is in order and before you know it, your number is called - (yes I was a number) and you're 'in and out'. No one there is preparing a scene or a monologue in the head or wondering why you are auditioning as well, so its very casual and not too much pretense. Everyone is dressed appropriately (which, in this case, was business attire) and happens to look so alike to every other brown face in that room.

I guess in the end, a 'Go-see' does sound more sophisticated than a 'Cattle call'!

-- Farah Bala

Pop Quiz

Pop Quiz...

You visit a friend's apartment in New York City and see he appears to be in cardiac arrest, unresponsive.

Do you:

a.)  Dial 911

b.)  Perform CPR

c.) a & b

d.) Call an Olsen Twin in California

e.) Call Uncle Jessie

--Jim Todd

Considered

Well, it apparently looks as though I'm being seriously considered for that role I last wrote about... However, it also looks like because it travels out of the country and the budget is so small they're probably not going to shoot it union.

Well, let me be honest here...

A: I don't do non-union work. I believe in the strength behind the solidarity of actors in unions.

B: Flying to a foreign country, riding horses, doing some stunt work are just three reasons I'd like to be a little more protected. Last time I did a movie I was on a horse, I got bucked at a gallop the day before principle shooting, and after shooting the movie, fighting and riding for a month, found out I had broken the radial head of my arm, and tore up soft cartilage my shoulder and my wrist... Being in a production that had all the insurances it needed, paid for the doctor and physical therapy for months to come afterwards.

C: I'm looking to step up my game... And while the role would definitely be a step up... The western had a 1.7 million dollar budget, the horror I just got off had a 2.5 million dollar budget... And both of those barely came in on budget... So, how anyone could do a bigger, more ambitious film, for only200 k, out of the country, I've no idea.

But, I do love playing, I do love acting, I do love opportunity, I do enjoy my friend... So until they make the final decision about union or non-union I'm in the game... And, as always, it's in my best interest to do my best... At the very least it's something to blog about.

Last night I finished a new draft of my newest script... A Fantasy/Action story... You want to talk about budgets... Man, I can't even begin to get my mind around how much this one would cost... But then again, CGI can be done on laptops these days... So who knows.

-- Quiching Care Of Bizness, Myself, And My Career ~ Tom Kiesche

PS. Congrats all you fellow bloggers...

Under The Weather

I 'm a little under the weather today – physically, emotionally, etc. 

I was invited to a screening of an indie film yesterday, directed by a guy I worked with years ago.  And I really wanted to go.  Not only because I like this guy, but also because I think maybe I need to "network" more. 

See, I feel like I'm damning my career every time I see a fundraiser or mixer or something and end up not going – for whatever the reason – and this feeling was compounded recently when I read an article by a 22 year-old successful actress whose sole advice to struggling schmucks like me is to "Network, network, network!"  So, here was a "networking" opportunity where I actually KNEW the guy organizing it, which is so much better than being all alone in a sea of strangers trying to start conversations. 

Except all day yesterday I felt crappy – the signs of a cold/sinus infection clearly in progress.   But I so badly wanted to go to the screening, I even went to the gym and worked out – hoping maybe it would boost my energy.  Then I went to a callback… which… see below.

Anyway, I went to these things, totally meaning to stick it out… but by the time I left the callback I was so wiped I knew I wouldn't last until the 9:30PM start time.  So I headed home  (in fact, I was so out of sorts I actually got off at the wrong train station and ended up catching the bus home) where I crawled into bed with a book and tried to talk myself out of feeling like a loser who just ruined her career (what there is of it).

This callback, tangentially, was for that Coward play and was the third callback (only my first).  This man has dedicated three days to his callbacks.  And he didn't have anyone's photos with him.  I had to tell him my name three times before he scribbled it in a memo pad along with my number.

It's just so damn frustrating.  I KNEW this was a fiasco of an audition from the very get-go, but I told myself not to pre-judge; to just go anyway because you never know what will happen or who you will meet, etc.  BLAH BLAH BLAH.

But the thing is – I did know.  I was right.  And I have been many, many, many times in the past.  So what's the lesson?  Do I spare my time or miss out on potentially good opportunities?  Do I trust my gut and protect myself emotionally, or remain optimistic despite all evidence otherwise, by building  up hope on the slim chance it might work (and suffer being crushed when everything withers in my grasp)?

In an effort to end things more positively, I will tell you that I had an audition the night before where I learned a little Irish step dancing.  Totally fun.  I think every audition should teach you something new as you wait.  Maybe crocheting or trading stocks online or something.  Think of how much smarter we'd all be.

--Susan Atwood

Drip Drop BUT Don't Let The Rain Make You Stop!

Came home wet. Ran through the rain tonight--carrying groceries. Picking up new headshots tomorrow. Finally finished organizing my home office. Getting some opinions on my freshly cut demo reel this week. Wishing Bon Voyage to me mum as she heads back to Indiana early in the morn. (She--and another friend-- helped me transform my house in the last two weeks!) Preparing to start my daughter in a Montessori School tomorrow as well. Working out for an hour every day...keep those endorphins rushing around!!!

Looking forward to throwing my first party in this apartment soon! Just a small gathering with some close friends...wine and cheese and all that...but I'm excited about it nonetheless. Thoroughly enjoying my life. Business is booming. A new branch of Pilates Studio City is opening up in Porter Ranch and I'm picking up a couple of shifts there. Moving forward on plans to learn new stunt-stuff. Spending time with people I like.

I'm in a Spiritual 'Bootcamp' at my church right now and it's also really helping me to clean house mentally. I can't talk about that because: What is Said in the Sacred Circle, st