Checking In, Moment By Moment

I should start calling my blog, The Night Owl Series. Lately I've been writing, right around midnight, so much recently...so here are some dark pictures to match.

The Present vs....can you see the differences in the faces? One is listening, intent, focused. The other...pretty similar...but a "check out" has occurred.

What's wrong with a little fantasizing, right? Do we even realize how much we miss in the moment when mentally we're somewhere else? Tonight there were multiple opportunities where I checked out and went somewhere else. For seconds, merely.

And. Yet. When I came back to myself in the present moment it felt like I had been in Narnia for years (or perchance an adult...place---hey girls have those moments too thank you VERY much)...but only a blink of an eye here. Hours went by in the time I was elsewhere. You know what it's like. Have you ever driven somewhere only to arrive and have NO IDEA how you got there...no memory of the drive whatsoever?  That is pretty darn scary. Or see someone's mouth moving and miss one little sentence because you suddenly got distracted by whatever. Suddenly you're struggling to remember the last thing they said...or worse...agreed or disagreed with something you only halfway heard? eeps. oops.

Where was I? The future? The past? Sometimes both. Creating the future based on the past. Yeach.  I definitely wasn't in the present. You can't be both places at once. It AMAZES me how often I do this. AMAZES. Check out. Check in. Check in. Check in. Check in. "Uh-huh" ...and...Check out. "I'm sorry...what?"

Whenever anyone (including myself) says "Uh-huh"...it's usually a sign that a temporary check out has occurred. Expect a "what?" to follow. And "uh-huhs" and check outs are BAD SIGNS. Maybe I've started to rush, maybe I'm impatient, maybe I'm (assuming) I'm a mental step ahead of the person who IS speaking...maybe I'm...indifferent. Tonight in class I became hyper aware of my tiny check-outs. Never assuming, helped me avoid falling into my mental Neverlands...eek. As an actor...checking out is the worst possible thing (that and being late). Maybe that's why being intimate with someone you love feels literally divine. Being completely vulnerable is what can be scary about living moment by moment. It can also be the best, most authentic feeling in the world.

Staying in the present...knowing that tomorrow is rife with opportunity. Now excuse me...my bed is calling me to check IN for a good night's sleep.

--Eve White

Comments

[Heather]

in your wondering thoughts defense, thoughts can occur up to four times faster than speech. The average person speaks 100-200 words per minute but can think 500-750 words per minute! Staying in the moment is hard for anyone who can think! Love ya'