Why Wasn't I Born Rich Instead Of Beautiful?

That's what my mom used to always say with a sigh when natty little problems cropped up.

I started writing a blog yesterday about taking a vacation - getting oneself away.  Just making the plans and going.  Unplugging.  No work worries, etc.  But it's hard for people like me, because not only are we actors with our work always in flux, but finding vacation buddies whose schedules, finances as desired destinations match up with our own is basically impossible.

Luckily, my sister and I just discovered we could take a road trip together this summer - and there are few things I love more than a road trip. 

But... yesterday I got a call from Maine Media Workshops offering a spot for me to be an actor in residence with them this summer.  No pay, but they give you room and board for a week as you lend your talents to help aspiring and professional filmmakers learn how to light, frame, film, etc., by being their guinea pig.   It's a week in Maine, in the summer, working with people in the industry. 

My last week-long "vacation" - a year and a half ago - was a working one: 6 days of acting seminars in LA.  I don't hate working vacations... but I'd like (and feel I deserve) a REAL take-your-mind-off-everything getaway.  But, at the same time... I also really like staying up late, shooting the shit over a coupla beers with people that you're making "art" with.  Time and good nutrition loses all meaning as you cram to get things done.  You get to know new people in the span of one week better than you know the folks in your office that you've worked with for years.  And I like that.

Then... just now... I got an email from RADA saying they are delighted to accept me for their contemporary drama program. 

*sigh*

I should be excited but instead I feel like puking - have I mentioned how fucking terrible I am at making decisions? 

• RADA is obviously a huge name on a resume - but it's also a huge expense ($3,000+).  I'm trying to dig out of debt and this would nullify all that I have saved for that purpose.  Yet... I do have that money (sort of).  Plus, I haven't been overseas in a millenium.   But I will also probably be the oldest kid in class.  Booannoyingboo.
• Maine Media Workshops is easier to get to, less money spent, more actual connections here in the states and the city (also LA).  In my down-time I could chill on green grass and maybe eat some lobstah.  It's just easier.
• A road trip would be a total chillaxing adventure.  No acting!  No worries!  Just some hiking, berry picking, antiquing, boy talk and a lot of singing to the radio.

If I were rich I could do all three.  But I'm not.  So...

What's a stressed-out, vacation-craving actor to do?

--Susan Atwood

Comments

[Stacey Jackson]

Beautiful picture! Yea Yea Yea! This is all fantastic news. I'd go for RADA--it'll be focused on helping you achieve your dreams, not a filmmaker achieving their dreams and it's HUGE! HUGE! You need to celebrate, girl. Tack an extra week for yourself at the end of your experience and go on a road trip or backpack in Europe. You deserve it.

[susan]

I'd love to... I just have no way of paying for it... *argh*

[susan]

Although... it is damn tempting...

[ming ming]

Roadtrip is definitely the way to go.

Unless you are committing to RADA for a few years and hoping to pursue a career in classical theater, it's not your best option.

Personally, I believe your experience on the roadtrip will serve you more as an actor than being a guinea pig in Maine.

[Justine]

I'm having one of those "trust your instinct" weeks -- trusting my **first** instinct and going with that. But I know it can be really hard to make those decisions.

my advice-- do the roadtrip. Sounds like something you'll enjoy. Do the Maine Media trip maybe also, if you want. I kind of agree with ming ming about RADA. Really think about if it will be the right move for you -- obviously you'd get a lot out of it that would be valuable experience, but sometimes that isn't enough...

but, of course it's *your* decision. :-)

[Justine]

Oh, sorry Susan, I didn't read this closely enough at first. Just saw the part (in your earlier blog) where you said the RADA thing was a 10-day course. Obviously that's different. I thought you were looking into a full program with them (something that lasted a few years)

in that case........maybe?

[susan]

RADA is a contemporary 10 day course (10 work days, so 2 weeks). With rooming it would be $4,000 us. Plus expenses.

I guess... I am just really worried about my theatrical career. It seems hopelessly stalled. And I think maybe such a credit would make people look twice, or see that I take it seriously. Do I think I'll actually acquire skills I NEED or did not have before? Not really. Which is why I am torn.

If I knew of some way to feel like I could have a firmer footing here, theatrically, I wouldn't feel so desperate - obviously.

I also feel like i need to shake things up. But, at the same time - desperation isn't always the best decision-maker. But then again... why not use it to propel oneself forward?

Damfuckitygoddamhell. It's so hard to decide...

I definitely want to do Maine though. And maybe a mini road trip later...

[harris]

i cant believe you are even considering going to RADA you must be so desperate and in times of desperation we do the silliest things and when we come back to reality we realise oh fk i should have never wasted 4000 dollars on that shit! a 10-day course is pointless, no-one cares. Seriously WAKE UP. I know its hard and you are desperate but that is the silliest thing i have ever heard an actor consider.