Fireworks from Hell

Happy 4th of July!

I got my fill of fireworks in last weekend at this dinky town fair out in Jersey.  It was really odd because it looked as if they spent at least a million bucks on the fireworks at this tiny local event.  It was surprisingly spectacular.  Tonight, we thought we'd be heading over to the river to check out the Macy's show, but I think I may be too tired to take on the crowds and the rain, and opt to celebrate at home instead.  Plus, I am anticipating battling traffic as we venture out-of-town for the rest of the weekend.  One battle per week is more than enough for me.

We're in the midst of planning a kitchen renovation, which has definitely been a learning process.  And time consuming.  Especially when you don't have any contractor, designer, or electrical technician friends who can give you guidance or advice pertaining to a Manhattan apartment kitchen.  And even more especially when you're trying to do it on a budget.  Just one unforeseen problem like water damage, electrical issues, moving pipes, or rotting floors can jack up your cost by many, many thousands.  It brings my awareness back to the reality that our career choice doesn't offer us the luxury of guessing how much income will be coming in the future.  When's the next job?  Will there be a strike?  Will that commercial get to air?  Will the movie be a hit or a dud?  Figuring how far over budget we can handle becomes a mystery and just a big pain in the ass. 

There is that tricky balance of maintaining optimism pursuing our dreams despite the reality of uncertainty that comes with our business.  It's an ongoing conundrum I suppose.  It's easy to let financial responsibility put a damper on your ambition and snuff out the fire of your dreams.  It's a fine line to walk between enjoying the quality of your life and forging ahead to pursue an acting career that promises nothing and guarantees less.  Yet, as Nicole pointed out, it's like a "high-class problem."  I realize that stressing over remodeling a kitchen in your co-op while maintaining an acting career is really not a bad problem to have.

I guess one way to look at it might be that really, no one can ever be totally certain of future income, particularly in today's economy where I am sure more than a few 9-5ers have to be concerned about being laid off.  Or all those poor people who lost their life savings with companies going bankrupt, like the downfall of Enron.  It's wise to keep an eye on the bigger picture and plan ahead, but at the same time, you've got to keep forging ahead, do what you can, spend wisely, enjoy life, and hope for the best.

Well one thing is certain.  If you're like me and you come from a family who thinks you are completely insane and stupid for not choosing security over your life's work, do not discuss renovation plans with them under any circumstances, or anything that involves money whatsoever (your own damn money no less).  Or be prepared to get into some fireworks that aren't so pretty to look at or all that fun to experience.  Although, finding yourself actually saying the phrase, "Yes, Mom.  I am the child of the Devil" is sort of hilarious.

Cheers.

--Ming Ming

Comments

[Nicole J. Butler]

It is definitely a precarious balance. I feel your (high-class) pain.