A Moment I Have Dreamed Of... Only Not So Much.

Another seminar last night - with a boutique agency, this time.  And after my monologue, I was totally floored when he said with wide-eyed enthusiasm, "That was amazing."

But wait, there's more.

He also said it was so good that, even though it was late in the evening (I was the last in), it totally captivated him.  He said it was the "perfect audition piece" and - I am not making this up - he actually urged me to use the piece more (I said I just started using it), because it "deserves to be seen".

Sounds positively rosy, no?  Like I should have floated on air all the way back to Brooklyn, yes?  Well...

He also said that he'd snatch me up if he didn't already have girls on file who fit my type and were having a hard time getting seen as it was. 

*sigh*

I totally understand.   I've been to auditions and seen the legions of "my type".  So, why add another to the pile that will just sit there and stagnate? I don't want that for my career and neither does he...  Which is my utter, heart-breaking frustration. 

Yes, it was fantastic to know that I performed so well - especially since I've been doubting myself and my skills and my training so much lately, but those things are in my control.  I can work on those; change them.  These factors, however... I can't help that I am too female, too Caucasian, too petite, too brunette and too in-between "young adult" and "mature adult" to stand out among the masses.  There are a million of my "type".  (Even though - bless him - this agent corrected me in saying that, no, there aren't a million who actually have talent... there are still just so many of us.) 

How do I get through???

Anyway.  I will send him a thank you note mentioning CDs I recently met (like the one from last week).  And generally just keep trying.  Maybe his files will open up, or someone else will try me on - before I eek into the "mature adult" category. (Other suggestions for riding this wave welcome.)

This is a good thing.  It's just also enormously frustrating.  I mean, how often have we dreamed of having an agent sing our praises so highly?  And how many times have we imagined this as the outcome? 

There are more things (and possible outcomes, and scenarios and situations) on heaven and earth...

Bottom line is, though, that things are shaping up and I'm getting noticed.  And I hope more and better experiences are on their way.

--Susan Atwood

Comments

[Justine]

It's wonderful that the agent gave you such fabulous feedback, even if he can't use your "type" right now. Keep in touch with him. You never know. In the future, things might change. It might be six months or a year down the line but it might work out.

Keep his excellents comments in your head. Marketability is a tricky and frustrating thing. Yeah, maybe right now, it won't work out for you, at least with this agent. But when you go to auditions, remember that *you* are enough. You have uniqueness, even if for various reasons your "type" isn't on the agents' hot list.

"too in-between 'young adult' and 'mature adult' to stand out among the masses."

Could be that you are one of those people who will work more as you get older. I'm sure you will still continue to get cast right now when you're young, but maybe the "bigger and better" things will happen when you get older. I haven't seen you act yet, but from your pics you have this really distinctive and interesting Susan Sarandon-ish look. So maybe some casting people (as you get older) will see you more for those "worldly women" sort of roles.

Anyway, I know it's frustrating - part of the process!!! Don't give up!!!