What I'm Doing.

I've had 3 TV auditions in the past week - that's gotta be a record for me! I used to audition commercially ALL THE TIME (not so much in the last few months), but not that frequently theatrically. Last week I auditioned for a new show called "LAPD" (from the guy who casts "ER"), this past Monday I auditioned for "According To Jim", and yesterday I auditioned for "Eleventh Hour". "Eleventh Hour" went really well and I feel good about it. They even asked me to read for a second role, and that went well too. They taped my audition for the producers to watch...hopefully they'll just cast me off the tape! "Boston Legal" is an awesome gig, but it's going off the air and it's the only TV show I've done so far, so it's time to do some other shows.

I got called the "Commercial Queen" again recently. It happens periodically, and I think it's kinda funny unless it's asked by one of those undercover haters who is passive-aggressively implying that I can't do anything else. Sometimes people ask me questions like "Do you JUST do commercials?" and "Do you do any REAL acting?" In the beginning it bothered me - I worried about being typecast as a 'commercial actress' until I figured out that if I'm being typecast as a commercial actress, not only am I getting cast, but I'm getting paid as well. I fail to see a downside to either, and both are more than I can say about the individuals who generally ask those questions.

Truth is: I enjoy a meaty role that I can sink my teeth into, but I haven't had an audition for one in a loooong time. One or two lines (that won't even leave a hole if cut from a scene) here & there is not creatively fulfilling. It requires no more acting than a commercial does, and depending on the commercial, it could even require less. I have fun doing commercials - they are generally light-hearted (excepting PSAs and depression medication), I don't have to rip myself to shreds emotionally, and nobody dies at the end. Plus residuals are the way to go. Hey, don't let the smooth taste fool you: it ain't just about the money, but it is about the money. Creative fulfillment may feed my spirit, but my landlady doesn't accept it on the first of the month. Balance.

So, in the name of balance, I mailed postcards to 100 people that I would like to keep abreast of my recent work, in hopes that it will beget more work. I just finished reading a script from a brilliant writer with whom I've been fortunate enough to work in the past, and will be participating in an informal reading of his newest play on Sunday. I did a phone interview for an article on stereotypical casting. Something I wrote is being published in a bound collection. I am taking a French class, and thinking about taking a couple of other classes at L.A. Valley College this fall. I am writing. I am in the gym, I am eating healthy most days. I am window-shopping at the mall. I am trying to pay off my car. I am sleeping in sometimes. I have accepted an offer to do more production work. I am catching up with friends & family. I am considering yoga. I am trying to find a voiceover agent. I am cleaning my home, lighting fruit-scented candles, dancing wildly to Santogold on my iPod, and talking to Cupid and Gherkin.

I am living.

--Nicole J. Butler

Comments

[Stacey Jackson]

My boyfriend used to talk about certain actors and say things like, "They were commercial actors and hadn't really done anything, and then they got cast in such and such movie." Dude. It made me want to scream, so I know what you're saying. Commercial actors are actor actors. I don't think anybody sets out to "just do commercials." It takes time to build a career and most actors are doing everything it takes to just get a job. Any job. And then eventually meatier more fulfilling jobs...hopefully. It's all the same thing really and who cares are long as you are fulfilled and can pay your bills?

[Tom Kiesche]

I'm going to have to find out more about that show LAPD...

[Nicole J. Butler]

TOM--
Check @ Futon Critic. There's a little info there.

STACEY--
Yeah, until someone is actually doing it, it sounds really simple, like: "oh I think I'll just go do a TV show now..." Little do they know... ;o)

[susan]

OMG... I am soooooo going through thiiiiis riiiight noooooow...

ARGH *pull hair*

I have another commercial callback and while I am grateful - I also want to cry because I just cannot - for the life of me - get anyone to look at me like a REAL actress. I had an agent seminar last night and when she asked what CDs know me theatrically... I felt my cheeks begin to burn. Because the answer is, basically, "No one".

No one has ever called me in for anything non-commercial. Ever. And... I am so frustrated right now. It seems like it just will never happen. And that's scary. My one bit of hope is that I used to feel this way about commercials, too ;) And that changed...

(Also, Nicole, I think you're an ANTM lover - I just read with one of last cycle's models at an audition this afternoon!)

((sorry that was such a long comment!))

[Nicole J. Butler]

Hey Susan--

Sometimes we end up somewhere entirely different from what we imagine. As long as we enjoy the journey, it's going to be okay - whatever the outcome.

Stay the course, savor the "now", and breathe! :o)

Yes, I love ANTM! Which model? How'd it go?