Whew!
Over the weekend, I had my first major musical theatre audition in over a year. I was, understandably, uptight about it as I remembered and did all the things that crazy singers (like me in my former life) need to do to vocally prepare: tea concoctions, ridiculous scales and warped sounding warm-ups, voice lessons, learning new songs and my personal favorite--heading straight home on Friday nights sans alcohol and parties in an attempt to preserve the voice.
I'm not always a fan of musicals, but I do believe musical auditions should be treated and attacked with the same gusto as a straight-up acting audition. I spent the last three weeks getting familiar with the show (a tricky Sondheim production), paying for one very helpful voice session, watching an old PBS version of the show and trying to learn the sheet music in case I got a callback and needed to sing from the show. Almost all of my research was done for free through my local public library, which saved me a huge chunk of change.
I arrived on Saturday with all this preparation and yet...I fell apart! I could hear the women singing before me and they sounded amazing. I suddenly became nervous and started shaking and by the time I reached the audition room, I was so psyched out that I felt that I sang horribly. Disastrously. I read the sides okay and the director was wonderfully nice but...I ran to my car and cried. I said to myself, "Stacey, you're done. No more musical theatre auditions ever again. Call your mom now and break the news to her gently." And really, what I finally pinpointed was that it's not my voice I hate or what I perceive to be my level of proficiency over a song, it's that I can't seem to master the actual audition aspect of the process. Which is a skill, yes, but a skill I have practiced hundreds of times with very few moments of real success. So, I went to the gym and beat myself up with some weight lifting. And, you know, I found peace with the situation and I hung up my "singing hat."
Until...I received an email from my friend who is pre-cast in the show and functioned as the reader at the audition. She seemed to see a whole different audition than I did. In fact, everybody in the room saw a whole different audition than I did and I have a callback tomorrow and am in the running for some major singing and stage time! WHAT?!?!
So, here I am. Drinking more throat coat tea. Doing scales. And dreaming of my mother actually having an opportunity to fly to LA and see me sing which would make her so happy that I can hardly stand the encouragement.
How could my perception be so off? It's a good reminder that sometimes we're not the best judge of our own talent and skill. And also a reminder that second chances are a gift and an opportunity to work on all the little things I wish I had done better the first time around.
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