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Oops. I May Have, Um, Done It Again...

Finger_mouth_abstract Ok, so, remember that guy who was heading that web-series project?  Well, after a few rounds of emails that got me nowhere, I finally called him saying "Please call me to discuss", and I never heard back.  So... problem solved.  In a way.

Until yesterday afternoon when he leaves a voicemail for me saying that they need someone now more than ever, and can I please call him tonight to go over the info.

Fine.  I sort of felt bad about missing out on this project because, as I said before, it's a cute premise and I see no reason why it couldn't make money (eventually - they have no backers now) or develop into something bigger... unless there is poor management, and, um...

It seems that might be the case.

Throughout the conversation I kept trying to press him for a specific time frame - How many episodes? Is there and "end" date? etc. - because it is an on-going series but I can't just sign on for a project indefinitely.  One that doesn't pay.  No way.  And getting those details was like pulling teeth.  And the whole time I kept trying to stress that this was a Let-Me-Look-At-The-Details-And-Get-Back-To-You situation, but somehow, by the end of the call, he had it in his mind that I'd read the script today and have a storyboard drawn up by Saturday (this character also draws for the show).

It probably is my fault.  I was probably too weak from the mental loopdy-loops to stress that I was not signed on yet.  But, I told myself to hold off on the self-flagellation:  I may not have just led this poor guy on - let me look at their website (just launched this week so this is my first time seeing it) before making any decisions, so I did and...

I will have to decline.  I think.  And now I do feel terrible.  I hate turning down work - I especially hate backing out of work that I initially accepted (or somehow let someone believe I have accepted).  I'm not involved in any projects right now so work would be good... but I've done web shows before - ones with great production values and a website that was free from glaring typos.  Doing this, it seems, would be a step back for me.

But then again, I'm not working now.  I haven't been in a show in a year (I'm so scared, you guys!  Will I ever be on stage again?). Am I foolish to decline?  I wish I could take it on and be excited about it but the whole things is just... too weird.

I do take some solace in thinking that there are other actors who could really use this experience.  That this would be a step forward for them.  So maybe I should leave the slot open for someone else who wants it more. 

That's the least I could do... right?

--Susan Atwood

UPDATE:  I noticed that one of the writers names for the show looked familiar, so I contacted a former classmate to see if it was him.  It was.  And he gave me some honest insight (though he no longer is a part of the project).  So I feel much better about my decision.

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