Pass The Mustard

Because I am on a roll!  Ha. 

Sorry - bad joke. 

Was directly booked from a first audition for an online commercially-type-thing.  Yes, it is a frickin' "mom" role.  But the pay is pretty decent and it's only one day and (I believe) it shoots here, so there's no travel involved - which can be fun but can also be a hassle.

Anyway, when I met that agent the other week, I mentioned that I'd booked 5 commercials in a little over a year, and he nearly fell off his chair.  So, my earlier suspicions that my track record is solid have been confirmed.  And now with 6 in essentially 16 months that's...  let's see...  carry the 9...  add the square root of 3...  multiply by pi and...  that's one commercial about every 2.5-3 months.  Which is great and yet makes me want to bang my head into a wall for a myriad of reasons:

Reason 1: It's consistent enough yet not well-paying enough to allow me to leave my day job.  And the sheer volume of auditions I must attend (about 3-6 a week, offered by about 5 offices) while holding down a day job has me primed and ready for a nervous break-down.  I turned down 2 low-paying auditions on Friday because I just needed a day to take a real lunch break.  And I had to turn one down for this Monday because I will already be attending two, back-back-to-back and can't (won't) run out for a third because my boss will have a fit (if I didn't have a day job - it would be great to do three) - especially since I'll be out Wednesday shooting this new spot.

Reason 2: Even though that agent loved me and was so impressed with my bookings... he told me he would not want to take me away (commercially) from the people I am already working with.  And, hey, I admire his sense of decency and fairness and all that - but I am freelancing with those offices.  And isn't that the point of freelancing - so either I or they can come and go as we wish?  I need a good agency who will send me on union auditions* with as much regularity as I am being sent on the non-union stuff, if I am ever to alleviate my frustration with reason #1 [see above]. But if I can't get a good agent by impressing him with my acting skills and by proving that I can make him/her money... then how will I?  It just seems ridiculously hopeless.

* I should note that these agents just might be submitting me to casting just as often as the other guys, but casting just isn't offering them slots for me.

Reason 3:  I want to be a real, non-commercial, legit/theatrical actress.  That's is why I got into this business.  I don't hate commercials and I don't mind doing them - especially if they will allow me to finally leave the day job - but I can't spend my entire acting career this way.  It's too heart-breaking.  I feel invisible.  And commercial auditions can breed bad habits and I fear I may have blown an audition yesterday for a British comedy (MY FAVORITE GENRE) because of said habits - and that makes me very angry with myself.

I hope I don't have to wait til I'm 40 for that to happen.  If I have to wait until then, then I will feel like I've wasted all this time.  I could have been working on another career (my art?) and then hopped into acting later.  It's so frustrating...

But it will be nice to have a day as an actor on Wednesday.  Looking forward to that, for sure.

--Susan Atwood

Comments

[Ashley Avis]

Hahaaa... love it. Pass the mustard. I'm such a dork, I laughed out loud.

[Justine]

"And commercial auditions can breed bad habits and I fear I may have blown an audition yesterday for a British comedy (MY FAVORITE GENRE) because of said habits - and that makes me very angry with myself."

Don't sweat it, be glad for your commercial success. Like you said, you *are* making money at it and that is nothing to sneeze it.

If you're worried it may be jeopardizing your skills at non-commercial auditions, that might be something you can work on in class or with a coach.

[susan]

Sure it's money - but it's not enough to leave my day job. I'm glad for it... but frustrated to tears. Like I siad - I didn't get into this business to work a day job AND run my ass off shooting and auditioning for commercials which offer little-to-no artistic fulfillment. And just this morning I got a stern warning again from my boss. It's just - at the moment - it's the worst of both worlds, it seems. I know that from the outside it doesn't seem so bad - because I never in my life would have imagined this situation to be a bad one. But it sucks. Hard. (Sorry mom.) And it can't go on like this because I'm exhausted and my boss is not happy. Something has to give.

[Stacey Jackson]

Hon bun,

I think you should take this most recent booking for exactly what it is: continued success because you're a captivating and talented actor. You have shown that you are $$$ and that you are "on."
There is no reason not to take this success to an agent that you want to seriously and exclusively represent you for union commercial work. Make a reel of your best commercials and work it. Tell your agent you only want to go out for union commercials or non-union work that pays above a certain dollar amount to make the effort worth your time. I could be wrong, but that may cut down on needless running around during the day. Commercial work may not be the type of work that you want, and that's totally fine and understandable, but use it to your advantage to get to the next level (ie. SAG card) and make more money per gig. Once you're in the union, you can join Equity a year later if you want to pay the initiation fee and you're on your way to opening more doors. Clearly, you have shown that you are good at what you do.

[susan]

Thanks. I have started turning down the low-paying auditions. After fees (a manager sends me on many auditions, and he takes more) it just doesn't make it worthwhile.

I wanted to target good agencies, but after I impressed that one guy and STILL nothing happened... I lost my steam. It just felt hopeless. But I will try again. I looked for more seminars with companies with good comm. depts. but - as Murphy's Law would have it - none are available right now ;)

Soon though - hopefully!