My Achy Ass

My ass hurts today.  And it doesn’t hurt because I’ve been working out.  I don’t have time these days to work out.  Although I think I run around the city to auditions and rehearsals enough for that to count as a little bit of a work out.  It doesn’t hurt from going up the stairs of the Eugene O’Neill, although by Sunday night I can usually feel it a little.  My ass is sore because I fell last night, hard, during the song, Totally Fucked. 

Why is it that I have so many blogs about me tripping, and falling, and just plain being awkward?  Maybe I need to take a ballet or yoga class or something to center me. 

Anyways, I was getting really into Totally Fucked, last night.  I was thinking about being in my bedroom at 16, which I had painted black.  I was thinking about how pissed I was that I didn’t get  into my high school jazz choir when I was sophomore.  “This isn’t just for fun, this is my careeeer!!!”  I would complain to my high school music teacher. 

During the middle of Totally Fucked we get to a part where we have really fast choreography on some steps right on the front of the stage.  It’s always a little hard to keep your balance, but I was really going after it.  I felt good.  Then, we all sing, "Blah blah, blah!" and stand up straight.  Instead of standing up straight, I lost my balance, fell backwards, and right onto my ass.  Of course I just got right back up again and continued with my "blah, blahs," but I felt like I could feel everyone looking at me.  When everyone is standing up in a straight line at the front of the stage and one person goes down, where does everyone’s eyes go?   Everyone’s eyes go to the girl who just fell on her ass. 

Some people said they didn’t notice.  I know they are liars.  Some people said the fall seemed to come off as part of the choreography instead of a mistake.  I know they are liars.  Some people said I made the fall look sexy…..okay, I can see how they would say that, but I have a feeling...They are liars! 

At least I fell backwards on my ass instead of forward into the audience.  Can you imagine?  Maybe everyone would stand up and catch me and I could crowd surf for the ending of Totally Fucked.  I’ll save it for the next time I lose my balance. 

What a way to start a week of shows!!  I really need to go to yoga and get centered.  But first, I really need to fix this ache in my ass.  I need a massage!  No,...I need an Ass Massage!!  Wait…do they have those?  Is that legal?

--  Emily Kinney

Comments

[Rebekka]

bwahaha... crowd surfing in totally fucked... that would be AWESOME!!!

[Hannah]

If it makes you feel any better I just finished a show in which the set involved many stairs. Me being the clumsy person I am made sure I took extra time while going down the stairs in one number especially while wearing heeled cowboy boots! Well finally it was opening night and I was feeling confident since I had yet to injure myself upon these horrifying obstacles. Well the top of the second act I sing back up in a song and I was so full of energy I pranced down the stairs but I got my heel caught behind the top stair and tumbled all the way down. I stood up shaken and my friend helped me put my hat and vest back on. Luckily everyone covered well with some improved lines. Finally it was time for me to speak but I was still in shock and I went to say my first line and I totally forgot what it was. I finished the rest of the show without a problem and left the theater with a sprained ankle, a cut on my face, and a huge bruise on my hip and forehead. People outside came up to me saying they had no idea it wasn't a part of the show and I was like yeah right I'm clearly a stunt women...

[Becky Miller]

I was totally there that night! 3rd row. the show was amazing. The fall wasn't bad, it really showed how you were sooo into it! you made a cute little face, like a raised brow and jumped right up and kept going. it actually made me watch you for most of the rest of the show cause i thought you were great!