Shut up, Me!

 Well, my mini-retreat to San Francisco is going splendidly!  Besides sporadically submitting myself on Actors Access and LA Casting, I've been taking a break from my business for the past two days.  And now, with some down time before going to a swanky/fun/crazy auction at Berkeley tonight with a performance by the one and only Joshua Keesan & the 45, I'm just checking in to say...I guess I needed a break.

"From what?"  You might ask.  "Have you found your Perfect Rent-Job?!?"

"Um....uuuurrrgh...no,"  I'd reply. 

"Oh."  You'd say.  "Well, then, you must have gotten hired for a new, amazing acting job that is both fulfilling in spirit as well as in wallet?  Congratulations!!!!"

"Woah there, Captain Assumption," I'd say, throwing my hands up to stop your train of hopeful-yet-premature celebration.  "No, no, I have not yet found awesome new acting work."

"Oh," you'd say again.  "Well, is a vacation really the most productive use of your time, energy, and dwindling bank account?  Aren't you being sort of lame?  Aren't you?!  AREN'T YOU?!?"

At which point I realize the character of You is actually My Guilty Conscience in disguise, laying a big, fat sweaty guilt trip on me.  Which entirely negates the purpose of a vacation!!!  Gah!!!

So, after delving into my workaholic psyche, you can see how I was a little stressed coming out here.  Acting, especially New York and LA, is a business that can be accessed and worked on 24/7.  I could network out here until my lips blistered and the pavement has been pounded to sand and pulp.  I could spend every last cent on classes and coaching, and I could submit, follow-up, and re-follow-up til I threw up.  At this point in my career, I'm just now starting to get used to selling myself as a product, and it's been a hard lesson indeed.  But now the lesson to learn is how to balance my various lives: as an actor, as a friend, a girlfriend, a daughter, a writer, an artist, a blossoming ukelele player.  (The uke is the first one to be ignored in that list of To Do's.) How to just have a life, as an actor. 

It drives me crazy meeting other actors who can only talk about the careers (or anybody at all who can only talk about their careers, for that matter).  So this weekend, I'm taking some Me time, and attempting to focus on my positive efforts so far, regroup and relax, and re-energize myself for my coming week, in which I will have to be wildly productive and truly focused.  Because my guilty conscience wouldn't let me do otherwise.  Gahhh!

PS I hope you're having a relaxing weekend too.  : )

Comments

[WhenIGrowUpCoach]

I'd love to hear about your weekend, Teresa! I'm a strong proponent for "me time" (especially for actors, who I know always feel like there is "something" they should be doing!)and think it's a great way to recharge your batteries and clear your head.

What did you do? How did it go? Did you feel guilty at all?

[Teresa Reilly]

I'm so glad you liked hearing about my trip! "Me Time" is truly awesome. I highly recommend it for anyone and everyone. I'll tell you all about it my next post... : )

[Nina Harada]

I am sooo looking forward to the same "Me Time" Sf- getaway and work on my life as a friend and girlfriend next week when I am going to spend a few days in the beautiful Bay. Oh, and I am going to try not to feel guilty about it!