Why I Have A Love/Hate Relationship With Weddings
It's summertime and everybody I know is getting married and/or having babies. I'm a fan of love and the white stork is my best buddy, but I never know if I should check the "Yes" I will be attending box or if I'll be able to scrounge up the money for more gifts.
Wow. I sound bitter on this lovely hungover July 5th evening. But I'm really not. I'm just...hmmm...frustrated?...at myself for forgetting my number one rule in regards to weddings: never ever promise that I will 100% be in attendance months in advance. Sounds harsh, I know, but I've learned the hard way. I had to back out of my first professional play in Chicago because the performance dates fell on a friend's wedding. I tried to soft-shoe around her on the phone to feel out her response if I decided to do the play anyway, and let me tell you: I did not want that lion unleashed on me. Brides are scary.
Another time, I called a friend to tell her that I couldn't make her wedding which was planned on a major national holiday. Because of the holiday, the plane tickets were jacked. I had just moved to Los Angeles and I was beyond broke. I mean, I wore the same two outfits every day kind of broke. I don't ever want to hear the disappointment behind the sobs that I heard on the phone that night ever again. I went.
Pretty sure I lost two friends in the last two years because I couldn't make it to their weddings. Women tend to hold these things against other women. OMG! I've been scarred by weddings!
So anyway, the number one rule: I will probably, most likely be at your wedding, UNLESS I get an acting job. In that case, I may not be able to make it, but I will do my best because I love you and want to support you on your big day.
Except...see...I forgot to tell my friend who is getting married that I have this rule. I slipped! It's all my fault! And now I'm worried, because I've been auditioning and getting close to a whole bunch of projects that happen to fall on the wedding dates. Even worse, I'm in the wedding. And you guessed it...it's a destination wedding. So much stress on so many levels. I'm very well aware of the fact that these sorts of things are deal breakers for a lot of friendships. Was I drunk when I unequivocally said yes? I cannot think of another reasonable explanation.
So I promise you this: if I ever get married, I will not hold it against you if you cannot come for any variety of reasons that may seem unimportant to me but are important to you. You do not have to get me a gift. If the wedding requires flying, attendance is more than optional. Additionally, I will not cry, throw things or make you feel guilty for your actions or refuse to talk to you in the future.
Thank you very much.
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