Unscripted - A Blog for Actors - Backstage

My First Guest Star! ...Audition :)

It can't be! A guest star on one of my favorite shows, next to LOST.....Cold Case. And not only is this a regular guest star, but on Cold Case, the guest star is actually the STAR of the episode...the victim. Right when I got the call from my agent, I ran to the computer to print out...wait for .....all 22 pages. Yikes. Luckily she told me I only needed to memorize three scenes, but of course being the good little actress I am, I prepared them all.

This part was literally perfect for me. I mean I seriously believe the writers channeled me when they wrote the episode. This girl was a strong willed, passionate, talented, circus performer in 1971. Coolest decade ever! And the part required a gymnastics background (which I have). I scrambled to get my wardrobe together on and off the phone with my parents who were in high school in 1971. Of course they should know! I was taking pictures of my outfit options and emailing them. I finally went to goodwill and bought an ugly brown striped dress which I ended up tucking into a brown mini skirt.

Monday rolled around and I rolled out of bed nice and early to practice some more. When I got to the audition, I quickly made friends with a girl that actually had circus training. Yikes! I thought my outfit was perfect until I walked into the room and read. The CD told me...that my outfit was ugly. It made me look flat...hmmm ok. I wasn't offended. I mean, the 70s colors were not that flattering. He looked at me with a contemplative look on his face. "Heather, I'm going to think about you," he stated slowly. "But you need to come back more sexy." I quickly replied, "of course! I can do that!"

Later that day, an hour later actually, they called. A callback!! Yes! I went in the next day for the producers. Of course, this is after I spent all day on Melrose looking for vintage jeans- which I found. I definitely went in looking more sexy. I'm sure of it. The producers, writer, director, and CD were in the room. My heart was racing with nervous excitement.

I was so prepared, and I know I did my very best, and even if I don't get it, I know I will be back in the office again. I just know.

--Heather Tocquigny

Personal Drop Offs DO Work!

I am back on a roll with checking the breakdowns on every website (I have a list of over ten even Craigslist- yes I have gotten legit work from that skeezy-ish website people have a love/hate relationship with). Ever since I lost out on a few parts recently that I really wanted, it has set a fire off inside of me. I am ever so passionate and determined to book something even better than the last auditions I went on.

The other day at seven in the morning (why I was up so early, I don't know)  I stumbled upon my dream role while I was browsing the internet in my bed. Not only does it requre someone that has a dance and gymnastics background that they quoted "have a leg up on this if you do have that background" but the film shoots all across Europe! It is a lead role, AND it is for a big big casting director. Wow.

I made my daily list of things to do and prepared my materials for my drop off. I printed out a specific headshot and attached my gymnastics reel with the package and ran over as fast as I could when I finally got ready. I called my agent and manager and enthusiastically told them about this film and how perfect I was for it. I made sure that they pitched me and also submit online for me.

I prayed all week that I would get a call to audition for my dream project. Then I went into a one day slump and reflected on all those times when I was still taking classes at USC and would leave ten minutes early to drive across town to the Fox lot and try and sneak on to drop off my daily submissions to casting people that did it all electronically anyways. I thought to myself, gosh, this is not going to work! Why do I keep thinking that I will get called in from a hard copy drop off?

The next day I was so bent out of shape from overthinking the whole situation. I went to the casting officeI work and checked my email when I was on a break, and to my surprise, there was an email with the subject line..... audition for you know what. Smiles. 

--Heather Tocquigny

We Loved You, But We Went With...

As I waited patiently in the bride's dressing room in a cute bungalow at a paradise ranch in Malibu, I sat on the bed in my belly dance costume clanking my gold bracelets together and counting down the minutes until I danced at the ritzy Moroccan wedding I was hired to perform at. I pondered all my auditions I had gone on in the past week, and the two that I was practically on hold for and lost out on at the very last minute. I thought to myself, what could I have done differently to secure those jobs? Ohhh sorry Heather, the email read, we decided to go with more blonds for this one, and oh we loved you so much but we decided to go with a different actress. And on top of those, I went to four- yes four auditions for a student thesis film....and guess what. They also told me, you were great but we went with...Sigh...

I arrived far too early to this event, anticipating much more traffic than usual and I got lost on the dark dirt roads that led up to this oasis in the middle of the Malibu canyon. How beautiful the maze of trees with hanging lights, and bridges with a creek and waterfalls! I rolled my dance suitcase carrying my gold sequined cane over the cobblestone path that meandered me to the signs that pointed this way to the raucous party goers. I walked passed a pond with a flock of pretty white ducks that all started approaching me as if I was carrying a platter of food. Finally I found the very flamboyant wedding planner and he directed me to my dressing room. After changing and warming up about four different times, sending out multiple text messages, and secretly nibbling on some tea cookies and cakes I discovered, I walked up to the wedding party.

On my walk over, I slipped and fell right on my butt because some vicious dogs that came out of no where started barking at me. My CD of music slipped out of my hand and got all scuffed up, but luckily still played perfectly. I literally danced for about twenty minutes, while everyone passed around long gowns that they wore to dance in around the bride and the groom. Then some women danced out onto the floor carrying above their heads, two platters of cookies (looked very similar to the tea cookies I was stealing...oops) and a few bowls of what looked to be mud. After dancing around in circles for a minute, they started to rub the mud (or what they call Henna) on everyone's hand. They told me it was for good luck and it left a mark on their hands for a week. 

After the fun and interesting celebration, I once again got lost in the maze of lit trees and white ducks and drove home, still pondering those auditions and what goes on in the mind of a producer's head...I shall never know.

---Heather Tocquigny

The Hour I've Been Waiting For...

Are casting workshops worth all the money I am paying to take them? Which offices like to receive postcards? Where do I get headshots printed but only about 25, not one hundred? And what is the best type of job to have as an actor that is flexible enough to audition? But most of all, how do I get into bigger offices and especially TV offices? I listed my hundreds of questions carefully for the casting directors I have interned for over the past few months. They are nice enough to spend an hour with me giving me solid career advice. I feel so privileged!

So I spent all week preparing, researching agents who I wanted to ask them about, and sorting and printing pictures for them to look at. They provide me with such insightful thoughts to spend all week digesting....like....why have 16 photos online, and keep adding all the new headshots to the old ones. Just remove the old ones already!!! (It's hard to let some of them go!!) You should only and really only need about six posted online.

They told me that if I looked edgy in my photos, then don't come bouncing in the room all bubbly and act like you are fourteen. They want to see the girl who they chose out of 2000 submissions, not someone else. Ok, I scribbled this down on my tinkerbell notebook. That of course made perfect sense to me. Look like your picture. Duh! How many times do I have to hear that!?

Ok, now how on earth do I get into more casting offices?? Bigger ones I might add. Of course, there is really no real answer for that, other then......"keep doing what you are doing because it sounds like you are doing the right things...." Go to casting workshops, keep submitting yourself, and mail postcards, keep in touch with your contacts and all the people you have worked with, and also....a more credible agent would do you some good.

So keep going to casting workshops, but target ten people who cast shows that you are right for. Quick anecdote:  I went to see a casting director who casts a popular teen drama on my favorite network and instead of her coming she sent her 21 year old looking assistant. We were all eagerly asking him questions, and a girl asked "what do you aspire to do?" He happily replied, "oh I want to be a producer or maybe get into photography." Oh....um...really?? Ok, so why are you here again taking our money?? Sometimes these workshops work for actors....sometimes.

So, I wrote all of these gems of wisdom I was hearing from the two casting directors that I have interned for. I honestly could have sat in there for three more hours asking them every question on my check list. I am so grateful for all of the wonderful advice I received!! Off to researching agents!

--Heather Tocquigny

Faking sick is a bad idea...

Ohhh playing sick it definitely my forte! I can actually convince myself that I am sick and then I really do get sick. I'm a firm believer that being sick is all about playing a trick on your mind, which is probably why my mom never gets sick- because she tell herself she isn't! And I tell myself I am sick or I think I'm getting sick, and I get sick. Point is....I have used this trick far too many times when trying to get out class, etc etc etc...

So my friend Jo got double booked on some work (gosh I feel so sorry for her!-sarcasm) and she called me to cover some extra work for her and pretend to be her for the day. I took her license and ran off to Simi Valley to play a golfer in a new comedy pilot. I introduced myself as Jo all day and when people asked for me they had to call my "name" twice. I slipped a few times, and introduced myself as Heather, then corrected myself, ohhhh sorry, that is my stage name....Yikes!

So later on, I had to leave set for a dance gig I had all the way across town. I'm talking like east LA! Well the only thing I could do was fake sick! Luckily it was an extremely hot day and we were on a hiking trail with no shade whatsoever, so it was an easy out. All I had to do was pretend to feel nauseous and overheated. I started at lunch feeling wheezy, and people were asking me what was wrong.
An hour goes by, and I am sitting in the medics car with the air conditioning going full blast, hooked up to an oxygen tank, and already downed four different pills, gatorade, and Emergency. Oh geez. I kept thinking, I am going to kill Jo for this!

All I was thinking was I have to get out of here to make my dance gig on time! I am being paid big dollars for it! So I asked in my sick I-feel-like-keeling-over voice, "can I just go home?" The medic responds, "oh honey no! I can't let you drive in this condition"

OMG! What have I gotten myself into!? I had to escape this situation immediately. Finally, after fifteen minutes I started to tell her I was feeling better, and after two hours of sitting in the car while I watched the other extras sweat their butts off on the hiking hill, I was on my way driving in traffic from hell to my next gig...Maybe I could have just asked to leave because I had to work?

Welcome to my land of Arithanea!

As I was driving to Beverly Hills, struggling to staple my headshot to my resume among other tasks, such as conversing with my mom on my cell and changing shirts, a guy in  a gorgeous Mercedes (my dream car) looks over and gives a thumbs up with this cheesy smile plastered on his face. Caught off guard, I sighed deeply and gave him a I'm-trying-so-hard-you-don't-even-know shrug. I was on my way to three auditions after a long weekend of filming a short in Monterey called Arithanea. Yes that is a name of a fictional land where I am a princess that can cast spells and carries a staff, kind of like Moses in The Ten Commandments. Now, let me tell you why this was such a challenge for me...

Generally I am used to playing contemporary roles that are typically not far from myself. This is of course not including the roles I played in theater years and years ago. Film is different. I was going over my lines with my boyfriend, who I drug along to the shoot this past weekend, and I was laughing so hard on the drive up the coast. How can I say, "draw the sword of heroes and prove that you are truly the chosen one," and not crack up at myself!  I seriously had these long speeches of this fantasy video game like dialog that I was trying to make some sense of.

 Luckily, it was a low budget short film and when I broke a scene cracking up laughing because a fly landed on my nose (because we were out in the forest in the heat of the day) I didn't feel too too bad because there was not millions of dollars on the line! I got to cast spells, put myself magically into a light green bubble (post production obviously) and carry a real sword. I felt a little like Link from Zelda, and it was totally awesome.

--Heather Tocquigny

How To Brand Myself....

Sometimes I don't think I will not know who I am until I am 40. Seriously. I will often act like I am 15 jumping off the walls and doing cartwheels when I get to a pretty patch of green grass, and then when I put on a pair of glasses and twist my hair up and stick a pencil in it, I suddenly act like a formal business woman that is slightly seductive. Yes I want to play a variety of colorful characters and in time I will be able to, but for now, I need to focus on who I am and what I always get cast as because I am at this weird age where I can't necessarily play high school, but I can't play a young mother either.

 I recently read a great book by Dallas Travers, The Tao of Show Business, which I highly recommend to all actors. It is an incredible up to date marketing book. She talks about branding yourself, how to write clever letters to agents, and how to do publicity for yourself. Who are you? What do you play? What is the tag line for yourself? Are some of the subjects she covers.

 I have a friend who calls herself Rainbow Bright with ADD. She labels herself as this and puts it on her business cards, and in the notes on her actors access submissions, and she ALWAYS gets called in because casting directors probably are very curious to know what Rainbow Bright with add is like.

So who am I? The sweet girl next door....I always get cast as that... Well, it's who I am. But gosh, there are probably another thousand sweet girl next door actresses in a five mile radius of my apartment in Studio City. My goal of the week is to ask my closest friends, family, and people on the street- what are three adjectives to describe me. Then I will narrow it down and create some tag line for me! Starting right now!

--Heather Tocquigny

Can Agents Be Compared To Coffee? I Think Yes!

When I need a coffee fix, I will pretty much pull over anywhere. Even Starbucks. Why? I really don't know. Because their coffee is burned, and ever time I'm there, I end up taking my drink back and having them add or remove to achieve the perfect taste. Every time.

After working as a barista for so many years and having a mom that consumes five cups of java a day, mostly to suppress her appetite, I have grown into quite the connoisseur.

When I was standing in line the other day for an iced coffee (how hard can it be to have the perfect combination?) I traded it in three times until it was ideal. Not enough caramel syrup, then too much, then too watery. I'm picky. I don't settle for less. If I pay more than a dollar for coffee then I WILL have it my way.

I started to ponder while having the irritated barista modify my perfect cup of joe, and I thought, I will not settle for this....

Why am I not like this with my past agents?? (LIGHT BULB GOING OFF IN MY HEAD!) If something doesn't feel right, the relationship isn't working, and there is no communication or auditions....then trade them in! Why settle on an agent that is not ideal for my taste for an entire year? That is a whole year down the drain(which is a long time in Hollywood) I have literally had about ten agents that have not been right for me since I have moved to LA. And I always seemed to defend them when my friends ask why I haven't upgraded to a better one. "Well....I just think I need to give them a little more time and then they will probably send me out more...." YEAH RIGHT!

This is it, I am making an executive decision as head of my company to trade UP and attain a great and aggressive agent, because I refuse to settle for someone who does not believe in my talent, and I also refuse to drink a cup of burned, over-sweetened, day old coffee.

--Heather Tocquigny

The Stress of Headshots

I am sure that every other struggling actor in town can relate the daunting process of getting headshots. The thought of going through it again makes me sigh deeply and think about what I could do with practically a grand that I am about to spend. I could buy a ticket to Rio and travel for a week, which I have been wanting to do for four years.

But we all know that a headshot is our calling card, our ticket into that big office we have always wanted to get into. But how many freakin times do I need to take 700 photos of myself before I can just get ONE decent shot that represents me- my spirit, my youthful energy, and my eyes.

After two months of research- asking every actor I know for suggestions on the BEST photographers in LA, and going to hundreds of websites, I realized I wanted something more cinematic this round- not something so "portraity" like Glamour Shots for example. My manager agreed and he told me to write out different lines of dialog to go over in my head while we were shooting. I spend hundreds of dollars at the mall acquiring various clothes and accessories for my four "looks". (Which I plan on returning by the way) I even had my boyfriend do test shoots because he recently bought a nice Nikon camera and an 85mm lens (if anyone needs headshots!)

I then took photos of myself wearing these newly purchased outfits and emailed my manager and family to gather their opinions. The day before my shoot, I spent a few hours packing everything and making a list of every single shot I wanted to capture. This grey shirt with my hair down straight, then throwing it up and putting on this jacket, then taking my hair down, with out the jacket, etc.... So specific! I even put a portfolio of my favorite looks and headshots on my computer to show the photographer. My friend Julie told me to just relax and have fun with it because I would look stressed out in the photos if I was fretting this much!!

So after a week of waiting ever so patiently to view the results, here is what I got! I appreciate any comments!!! Hopefully my eyes don't exude "I am so concerned about getting the perfect picture!" 

Here is the link!

---Heather Tocquigny

Spunky to Seductive

I love surprise auditions!! I didn't have anything lined up for the week and all of a sudden I got bombarded with two BIG auditions this weekend! One was a series regular for a pilot and the second, a commercial. Yes! Something to memorize!!

I rarely get TV auditions and when I do I OVER PREPARE. I met with a coach twice in 24 hours, tried on ten different outfits, and rehearsed all weekend long. I felt like it was necessary considering it was my first audition for a series regular. A spunky series regular who is 15 and asking her mom about birth control. Yikes. 15? .....

First mistake of the day was staying up too late the night before with my old roommate who visited for the weekend. What was I thinking? Not the smartest decision. I woke up slurring my words and overly blinking my eyes that were stinging like crazy. I scrambled to get ready in the morning and talked to myself while applying my minimal make up to look more youthful.

Second mistake was arriving to the Universal lot with only ten minutes to park and walk to the bungalows. Hello!!!! I knew that the lot was huge. Why didn't I give myself enough time? I ended up having to walk a half a mile while passing at least three Universal Studios tour buses. Of course all the tourists were looking for celebrities on the back lot tour and if they see anyone who could remotely resemble "somebody" they will claim to their friends that they saw a star when arriving home from LA. I messed with the buses passing by and pretended to be yelling at "my agent" on my cell phone. "What!? No! I want a million for that film or I'm passing on it!" I said this line with attitude pretending to be in conversation with a real person as three buses passed me. That grabbed their attention as they stared me down, attempting to figure out what famous, demanding actress I was. A few guys even snapped some photos! I laughed to myself when they passed, then said to myself, ok time to get down to business and grabbed my sides out of my purse to run through the scene before stepping into the office I have dreamed of reading for.

As my name was called I took a deep deep breath and stepped into the office, making myself comfortable and owning the room, as my former acting professor constantly reiterated in class. Mistake number three was trying too hard to be off book and not keeping track of where I was on the pages. I went blank in the middle of the second scene and shuffled the papers around, but could not find the line! Luckily the casting director fed me the forgotten line, and luckily I had stayed in the moment, which he complimented me on after the read.

I felt like I had captured the innocence and spunk of the character, and I ran back to my car rehearsing my commercial copy while out of breath. Now I was playing a character ten years older than the series regular and I was supposed to be a sultry, seductive sports fan. On the drive to Santa Monica, I applied red lipstick, threw on a low cut halter top, and stepped out of the car in four inch heels ready to nail it. Cross your fingers I book both!

--Heather Tocquigny