Unscripted - A Blog for Actors - Backstage

Scapegoats

   
We all have things about ourselves that we'd like to change. As actors, those things become the focus of our obsession in the darkest hours. I was born missing two teeth in my upper jaw - which created a gap in my smile. This was pretty cute for a young kid. As I grew older it became less cute. In my young adulthood I mostly forgot about it, as it only came up when people thought I might be gay - and then I'd suddenly remember why.

Youch

Prior to this week, I hadn't been to the hospital in 14 years, not since I broke my left wrist during a high school soccer game. That all changed wednesday night. I was at work, which was my saving grace, polishing glassware, when a glass broke during mid-polish. Yeah.

Grad School Diary #2:Recommending myself

    I've picked out the three theatre professionals I'd like to write my recommendations. They are all game for it - but one of them is a very busy broadway casting director. Busy enough to ask me to write a draft of the rec for him, just to get him started. I told him I could totally do that for him.

    I can right? How do I write a draft of a rec for myself? What do I think he'd say? He's taught me in a few classes, cast me in a reading and remarks on my talent pretty much every time we see each other. I guess I should just go for it, and let him reel it in. It's still a little weird. But this seems to be somewhat par for the course as this stuff goes. Anybody worth writing one for you is going to be busy, and the best way to get it done is to start it for them, and I have to do it THIS WEEK.

    So I have quite a bit on my plate. Start two rec's, write my personal statement, start choosing my monologues so I can work with my coach. All this for grad school that I'm not even sure I want to go to! But that's okay, it's an option I do need to investigate. Although lately I've been doing so many other things, event planning, teaching - that I'd hate to give them up to go to school for three years. C'est la vie. I'm changing my life over the next year, so things will...change, and that's what I want. LA or Grad school, the battle rages on.

--  Shawn Dempewolff

Closer and closer

I was pretty happy when 'Paradigm' showed up on my ringing iphone yesterday. Even happier when I was called back for the national dunkin' donuts spot. Slightly less happy that it was a day-of audition it was at 6:50 pm. Really? is this a dinner date? That meant I had to leave my tutoring gig in NJ earlier, rush back into the city with my zipcar right to the casting studio, do my thing, return the car, and then go shoot my internet video sensation.

    I was starting to get stressed out just thinking about it all.

An Actor Prepares

    The one thing I've always struggled with as a professional actor(which is what I like to call myself) is how much to prepare and how to prepare. This is especially true for film work. I just shot a short this past friday with some college friends. It was a zombie short - but somewhat ambiguous as to whether there were really zombies. The character I played experienced a head injury that ends up impairing his sight and hearing, so it's unclear what is real and what he thinks is real.

    My buddy pitched the film to me a few weeks ago as something they'd been batting around for a while. "That sounds like something you'd really need the actor to carry for you, the film wouldn't work without them." Then I convinced him that I was the one who could do it. He didn't need much convincing, he likes me, we've known each other for a while, and have a really good working relationship.

    

Short Film Challenge #2

I know, I know. But it's done. Spoiler. Read it.

Download Spoiler

-- Shawn Dempewolff

The Decision

    There comes a time in each actors career when they have to make a change. Very similar to that MJ song, "gonna make a change, nanananananana." This time I AM talking about the man in the mirror. Here's the change: I've mentioned before that my roommate and I are planning on moving to LA in June - I'm also going to apply to grad school. Most of the auditions are in January. So I'm going to apply to yale, NYU and maybe Calarts. Why not? I don't have to go if I get in, and I've already said that my career needs a bit of a shock to the system. 

Don't get sucked in

I am beginning to understand so many things. I have a newfound respect for every aspiring actor who moves to NYC and works in a bar/restaurant and manages pursuing their dreams. The restaurant I currently work at is populated mostly by non-actors, and so far only one cringe-inducing "struggling actor." Why? because most of the staff there are restaurant pros- or pursuing other stuff.

    But I've begun to realize how easy it is to get sucked in to that world, especially if that's your only gig - you work long shifts, you become somewhat obsessed with how much money you make, how the place is managed, blah, blah, blah. Granted a lot of this for me is due to the fact that I'm working somewhere that's in the middle of a big-time opening, but it's still a pretty clear picture of what that world is like.

Oh, that's why I do this.

I had a crappy, crappy day Thursday. Cra-ppy. For a variety of reasons, not all that important to detail here. But I got off work at 7, and had an audition for a CD at my networking studio of choice. It went super-well, even if she did say "you know, I don't usually say this to actors, but I think in your case moving to LA might be a really good idea." It's part of a conversation I often have when people say "but you seem so TV-friendly I don't know why no one is putting you out there for that stuff." and I say, "well, all those shows I'm right for are on the other side of the country." They say "oh, yeah."

    She was really sweet and really liked my work and was surprised(as most guests I meet there are) that I a.) don't have a legit and b.) haven't had much luck in that arena in NYC.

    But moreover, I left the audition feeling awesome. I seriously don't know what I would do if I didn't act, it's the one thing in my life that I know can completely shift my mood. It's also the one thing I have such a singular focus on that I can push whatever is going on with me out of my mind while I'm doing it, or preparing for it. There's always that quick moment of resistance before I let my previous mood go, almost like I'm not sure I should move away from it or not. An acting teacher of mine once said "You either go deeper into it, or you move on." I moved on.

    So I'm thankful for that, because my crappy day quickly disappeared.

P.S. I totally have a short film script coming! Today or tomorrow! I've been working like a dog!

--  Shawn Dempewolff

Three's the...Charm?

A slightly more networky actor friend of mine texted me yesterday while I was getting my teeth cleaned for the first time in years(no cavities! huzzah!) saying: "did u see the news [agent] just posted on facebook?" I was waiting for the dentist to come back in the room, and I assumed it was that she'd just left the agency, which I've heard of her doing before. Uh-uh. She was laid off. Laid Off!

    The only reason this is crazy is that this is the third agent I've lost this year due to the economy! First Gilla Roos went under, then another agent I had just started with was laid off in April, and now this!

    What sucks the most about this is that I'd pinned a lot of hopes on her. She seemed to be hustling, getting me union audtions, getting me general meetings. I really thought I'd book my first national through them. Boo!