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How to Reject Anyone in 0 Days

Strikewatch_blog Good news for those breathlessly awaiting a new SAG TV/Theatrical Contract. A “small group” of AMPTP members and guild negotiators met today, but only “for the purposes of listening to whatever SAG has to say.”

Okay, it’s sort of, kinda good news. But these days we’ll consider any move to get SAG and the AMPTP in the same room as progress. SAG will most likely reject the studio’s “final offer.” Whoops. I mean they’ll present the studios with what Doug Allen called  “a comprehensive counterproposal that adopted some of their proposals and offered alternatives on others.”

I’m not one to give relationship advice, but I’ve come up with a great way to turn down an unwanted marriage proposal. Simply sit your intended down and say, “Honey, I am not rejecting you. Instead, I am offering you a comprehensive counterproposal that adopts some of your proposals and offers alternatives on other.” That should put the kibosh on the relationship all together, leaving you free to reactivate that Match.com account.

In fact, that answer could work whenever you have to reject someone gently and with as much confusion as possible: a creepy guy or girl asking you out, an employee asking you for a raise, a friend asking to borrow money—just think of the possibilities!

Tn2_arnold_schwarzenegger_2 In the midst of all this rejection (I mean, “counterproposaling”), at least one person is saying yes in Hollywood. I was psyched when I read this headline on BBC.com about our very own Governor Terminator:  “Governor offers to help US actors."

Before you get excited about being able to pay rent and fill up your gas tank this month, the article doesn’t say Arnold will help “actors” specifically. His quote was, “If someone asks me to help, I would be more than happy to.” He followed that with, “It's very important to come to an agreement as quickly as possible. The last thing we need is another strike.”

Well, duh. But if the Governator’s offering, I’m asking. If he’s concerned about the financial woes of actors and other entertainment workers, maybe he’s sympathetic toward hard-working, unionless journalists’ current plight. No doubt you’ve heard about the LA Times laying off 250 people. Not to mention hundreds who have been laid off at certain other papers, which shall remain nameless lest I’m asked to clear out my cube sooner rather than later.

So, Arnold. I could really use some cash for business school and one of them Vespa scooters. Call me. I await your “counterproposal.”

--Lauren Horwitch


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