Dustin Hoffman: The Sweet Smell of Success

Let me just start by qualifying: I have the utmost respect for Dustin Hoffman, one of my all-time favorite actors. So forgive me as you read and I poke fun at his genius. Forgive me (and I beg for forgiveness from your nose as well) as I reveal some rather pungent information about Dustin, the two time Academy Award winning actor.

Dustin Hoffman, one of the most iconic actors of our time has a secret.  Hoffman is so adept at playing the every-man scenes like in Kramer vs. Kramer which has some the best scenes in it with Hoffman and his on-screen son Justin Henry who plays Billy.  Ted, Hoffman's character says nothing but, so much is said.  I have often thought, "God what is his secret?  His inner life is so powerful."  But it may be that his innards are more powerful.

Several years ago, I remember hearing something really strange about Dustin Hoffman and his 'method' while on a set.  I was friends with a woman who is a pretty well-known actress (and who shall remain nameless); we will call her Actress X.

She relayed this funny story of when she worked on Mad City with John Travolta and Dustin Hoffman.  She said that Hoffman was really great and super funny. 

Apparently in scenes where Actress X would have to appear to be having a conversation on camera with Hoffman, but not necessarily in the foreground, Dustin would say dirty things to her to elicit a reaction.  But Miss X recalled, what was the most funny was that Dustin would eat lots of garlic in his trailer and would come out on set and fart, just fart recklessly! 

Well Ms. X just thought it was hilarious but she said the best part was when Blythe Danner, a very classy lady, would say nothing but would sniff as if to say, "Who the hell had something die up their backside?"

I wasn't sure how exaggerated this story was, after all Miss X, a working actress, would often try to impress me with her 'brilliant' career.  But I was pleasantly shocked years later, actually a few months ago (May 2008) when Oprah did her tribute to Tom Cruise for his twenty five years in showbiz.  On it, Dustin appeared via satellite and did a very funny bit for Tom Cruise.  Then just when you think Tom was going to say something glowing about Dustin, he breaks out with a not so flattering anecdote about Hoffman.  

On "Oprah", Cruise said the "farting in the phone booth" bit was improvised because Hoffman actually passed gas while the scene was being filmed.  Cruise was trying to get out of the booth to end the scene but Hoffman wouldn't let him.  Hoffman said it was his favorite scene ever.  Then I thought, "gee maybe Ms. X was not full of hot air." 

And then it hit me.  All these years I have been admiring Dustin Hoffman for his brilliance, his ability to play the every-man roles.  Are you kidding?  There should be a Fart Method school of acting, a new wing dedicated to flatulence at The Strassberg Academy so that you too, the student of life, actor-extraordinaire, can deliver an Oscar winning performance.

Eat lots of garlic, cut massive cheese, throw off your other actors and bam, like the Hoffmans of the world, watch your career steadily 'blow up'.  So the lesson for today: for all you fledglings aspiring to be like the Masters...

When in doubt, fart!

-- Heather Langone