You Can Now Smell Like Bruce Willis

Bruce Willis will unleash the cleverly named "Bruce Willis" line of fragrance and beauty products this Thursday, including an eau de parfum (cologne), hair and body wash, deodorant, and shave balm. The "signature collection" was created in partnership with German company LG Health and Beauty Systems, with the tagline "Smart Guys Live Forever."

Eau de Bruce Willis contains notes of grapefruit, pepper, and vetiver -- because, as The AV Club rightly points out, "no one would buy a blend of stale whiskey, smug, and male pattern baldness" -- which prompted LG Health and Beauty Systems CEO Tilo Ploger to say, "I personally feel that the new Bruce Willis fragrance is the manliest scent in the world."

And for some inexplicable reason, Willis has also recently become a partner at Sobieski vodka, "the #1 premium vodka in Poland." Watch his bizarre new commercial below:

"You're probably sitting there wondering, What the heck does Bruce Willis know about making vodka? The answer is, absolutely nothing." But he's an actor, so he can pretend, or something. Yippie-ki-yay, indeed.

-- Daniel Lehman