How to Save 'Spider-Man'

I've got it. I've figured out the solution to a problem even Bono couldn't solve. With an announcement due any second about Julie Taymor leaving the trouble-plagued Broadway musical "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," I have come up with a fool-proof plan to save the production. They've tried postponing, they've tried recasting, they've tried revamping. But the simplest solution? Hire Betty White.

No one is more beloved than White right now. She saved "The Proposal" from being total dreck. She saved "Saturday Night Live." She even scored a SAG Award for a sitcom that airs on TV Land, for crying out loud! And wouldn't she make a lovely Aunt May? I dare any of those poison-penned critics to go after America's Sweetheart.

Trust me. The woman is invincible.

-- Jenelle Riley