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Earnestly Seeking... Something.

Fail It's all too much sometimes - the ins and outs of this life.  The headshot-taking, the agent-finding, the constant working at getting work.  The survival jobs, the countering of negative messages while staying "open" enough to perform.  The dues-paying, the schmoozing.  Being "on" when you really and truly aren't.  Some days it's just all too much.  Flip the switch and turn off the carnival lights, 'cause this ain't what I signed on for.  All I wanted to do was ACT.  Bare my soul, provide a little entertainment and a lot of inspiration.  Explore and expose the full spectrum of emotion that makes up the human experience.  I'm doing it...right?

Not exactly.  I feel like I drove my little economy car onto the freeway, headed for palm trees and the magnificent mountains that flank the 405, and while dodging freeway-snipers, drunk drivers, and people in SUVs talking on cell phones, I missed my exit.Njb

My life isn't a bad one, by any definition.  I just know there has to be more.  Lately, I've been feeling the need to give back to the world at large.  I've looked at charities, microlending institutions, social service organizations, teaching abroad, considering art therapy of some sort... a way for me to contribute in a meaningful way to a world of people who need so much.  I'm looking for a way to combine my passion for the artistic with a vehicle by which to help people.  To whom much is given, much is required, and I've been blessed in so many ways.

This post may not be a lot of sense, or be as concise as I usually try to be, and if that's the case, I'm sorry.  I'm figuring things out as I write.  Thanks for coming along (however unwittingly ;o) ) for this portion of the journey.

--Nicole J. Butler

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