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5.8

When an earthquake happens--like one did almost 40 minutes ago--
PLEASE STAY THE FRACK OFF YOUR PHONE UNLESS YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO CALL 911.
And if you must (like I tried) call your child's preschool or family members--KEEP IT BRIEF, PEOPLE. Like 30 seconds or less. My mom called me and I kept the conversation down to 15 seconds and hung up--"yes, I'm fine, yes it was scary--gotta get to the preschool--call you later, thanks. BYE."   

I cannot believe how many people I saw yakking about this ON AND ON FRIVOLOUSLY WHILE PEOPLE ARE ATTEMPTING TO CONTACT LOVED ONES and I quote one young guy, "dude--this unbelieveable earthquake we just had dude!" Selfish fracking bastard. Get off your phone you jackass. I got in my car and drove to the preschool because I couldn't make a call to check on her.

For a Midwesterner who has only felt one, brief, shove of an earthquake--this was pretty scary. Especially since my daughter was another town over. People are chillin on their cellphones while mothers can't reach their children. Not okay. A telemarketer managed to get through to me--but I couldn't get through to my daughter's preschool. WHAT!? NO-NO---AND NO! Don't be a selfish, insensitive prick--stay off the phones and the roads unless you are actively trying to pick up a relative, get to the hospital, or make an emergency call.

It felt like walking on water. Not placid water--it felt like standing on top of an ocean with a rip-tide underneath. Rolling, not rocking, to be exact. It felt like the earth was rolling, in waves. For the record--my daughter is fine, but my cat is NOT. My kitten has practically attached itself to my body and every hair (still) is up in the air. To quote Maggie Gyllenhaal's character in The Dark Knight:

"Let's not do that again."


--Eve White


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