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Bigger Than A Bread Box...

I'm not a small woman by any stretch of the imagination. I am 5'11.5" barefoot (6' on my resume since I generally don't go to auditions or work barefoot), and weigh 185-200 depending on the time of the day, day in the month, or month in the year. Curves over muscle (admittedly, the ratio fluctuates). I am usually a size 12, sometimes a 14. Size 11 shoe. Substantial. Amazonian even.

Something about those stats must automatically lead people to believe that I am fat, unattractive, and masculine, because I frequently get called in (theatrically, but not commercially) for roles requiring one or more of those three traits. I did notice (and a friend commented on) the fact that, onscreen, my derriere has taken on astronomical proportions. I think the airing of my recent Walmart commercial marked my booty's onscreen debut. In a white skirt with big flowers all over it, no less. Not ideal, but it is what it is.

Yes, I know the camera adds weight. Yes I know that the Hollywood stereotype is that small=better, so in order to be "Hollywood-sized" on TV, I am supposed to be smaller than that in real life. Here's the thing: I don't live in the TV, I live in the real world.

It's a lifestyle choice: Live to burn calories and avoid everything that remotely resembles a simple carb. No ma'am - I am so not willing to do that. Being skinny is not that important to me. Being healthy is, so I do work out and watch what I eat, but I'm not going to any extremes. I've stated it before - I am really trying to maintain balance in my life, and I have to do that by knowing and living up to the standards that I set for myself, not those that others deem important.

So, I have a sitcom audition on Monday, for which I have to be overweight, unattractive, and masculine. I'm going to treat it the way I treat everything else - I will be myself in the circumstance of the scene. Either they will see possibilities they didn't before (which has happened to me in the past), or they will cast someone more befitting. Either way, I will do a good job and not allow my ego to steer.

Wish me luck. ;o)

--Nicole J. Butler

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Evelyn White

I thoroughly agree--whatever your size--we should all LIVE and LOVE doing it. Therefore, it should perhaps be noted that I've eaten FOUR pieces of pie today...shit.

(laughter...) Ah well, tomorrow the pie will be gone (because I will have eaten it all) and then I'll eat a salad.

Moderation in all things, including moderation. Every now and then: eat the whole pie.

Nicole J. Butler

Hahaha! Lord knows I've been there - there are certain things (like pie) that I don't even bother to bring home because I KNOW what's going to happen to it. Can't just eat half and leave the other half sitting there looking lonely, can you? lol

Thanks for the laugh - I totally agree: moderation is important.


I think balance is the most inportant thing in this business. If you are happy with who you are it will show in your work. Keep it up.

Nicole J. Butler

Hi Emory--
I think so too. AND while we're so busy getting to wherever it is we are trying to go in our lives, it makes a lot of sense to enjoy the journey!


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