i'm not having a good time.

(Yes, that's a pic of me w/ an afro so big I had to put the top down on my car this morning.)

I am overwhelmed.  I have two family members in the hospital (getting better, but still...), two "job-jobs" (one I have to be in the office to do, and the other I don't), my dad is coming to visit this week, my apt. needs cleaning, my laundry is undone, I'll be going to view the body of a murdered friend today, before a 'straight-to-producers' audition for a show called "Trust Me", after which I will try to see another friend who is in Cedars-Sinai, after which I have a business meeting/ dinner.

I am so not happy today.

My eye has been twitching for 4 or 5 days (nerves).  Yesterday I was hyperventilating, and on the verge of a panic attack. I haven't had one of those in a LOOOONG time, and I don't want them to return.  I took 2 sleeping pills to calm down & get to sleep.  This may be how people end up abusing substances - just trying to soothe themselves.  I don't intend to fall into that trap either - not like ANYBODY does, but, again - I'm just sayin...

I'm cranky, so I'd probably better stop here.  I am at work, DONE with my work, but waiting for other people to give me further information so I can move ahead.  Grrrr...

I need to get out of here (Burbank), run home, change from my Nike tracksuit into something funeral home/ audition-appropriate (didn't find out about the wake until about 2 hrs. ago), make my hair audition appropriate (for this role), then drive from the valley to Culver City, to West Hollywood.

Say a little prayer for me.

--Nicole J. Butler

Comments

[Jenny]

You are in my thoughts and prayers Nicole. Be well.

[Michael]

Love from NY-with you all the way. Be well-it gets better

[Nicole J. Butler]

Thank y'all so much for the kind words. I'm taking deep breaths & trying to maintain.