I'd Rather Be...?

This past week, I had my fitting for "The Closer."  Not only are the people in the wardrobe department very nice, but the head costumer, Greg, is clearly quite artistic in a trés chic sort of way.  I'll be playing a high-powered attorney, so they went out and bought some power suits for me - one with a red jacket, one with a pale turquoise jacket, and one with a coral jacket - all in shades that complimented my skin tone nicely, but the red one said "power" like no other, so that's the one they chose.  My shoes are pretty fab too - an open-toed pair that I would TOTALLY buy if I weren't on a shoe-buying diet (but I would still accept them as a donation).  My toenails are painted teal with little flowers on them right now, and when I asked if I need to get them re-painted before I shoot, I was told "Maybe that's your character's trademark."  Cool by me.  I generally think the 'professional' characters are a bit staid and need a little pizzaz anyway.  I always lobby for fuchsia lipstick, but never get it.  We'll see if they let me keep my teal toenails or if I get a last minute pedicure.

When I auditioned, I only had one line.  Now I have two, so I have chosen to believe that I'm moving up in the "Closer" world (gotta grab joy where you find it)!  I have a scene with show lead, Kyra Sedgwick, whose work I have always liked - should be really cool.

I feel really good about the fact that I am working so much right now, but I don't think my "Gain" commercial is running anymore, and if not, that means that for the first time in three years, I don't have a commercial running.  Well, not one that's paying residuals, anyway.  That really makes me nervous because THAT'S what pays the bills for me.  TV work is good on-set experience, and a great resume-builder (nothing to sneeze at), which will undoubtedly open more doors for me in the (hopefully near) future, but unless one is a series regular, or a high-profile guest-star that works consistently, it will not keep the bills paid.  I need to book some commercial work.  Without it, all I'm sure of is that I will not starve before the end of June, and maybe not until mid-August if I do some production work.  And that's barring a catastrophe - major or minor.  It's a delicate balance when you don't know where your next dime is coming from.  It's flying without a net.

This business is crazy, and to try to make sense of it all is crazy-making.  I'm just working as hard as I can on the things I can control and letting the rest work itself out.  That's all I can do anyway - any other notion of 'control' is just that - 'illusion.'  But what other choice is there?  What else could I do that would allow me to have a fulfilling life?  There are other things on my list, but they are ALL artistic pursuits, which, again, means no safety net.  I will tell you this, though:  I would rather hit the ground while trying to fly than to stay on the ground and never dare to try.

All things considered, even on the 'bad' days, life is good if  just keep things in perspective and stay open to possibilities.

--Nicole J. Butler

Comments

[Sis Ivd]

I think you look best in jewel tones.

[Michelle]

I honestly believe that you have all this goodness coming your way because you take each opportunity & revel in it, enjoy it, celebrate it, love it. You have an amazing attitude, Nicole, & I know that a lot of your one-line gigs will turn into two-line gigs & on & on from there!

[Nicole J. Butler]

Sis Ivd - I know you do! You know my philosophy: Anybody can wear any color - just not every shade!

Michelle - From your lips...!!