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Lira KellermanAll week, I've been riding a high. Perhaps it had to do with the audition last week where my personality outweighed me flubbing my lines, perhaps it has to do with what I am dubbing Epic Tuesday (more on that next week) but it has been a lot of fun to see how high I can get.

But of course, a career in acting is a lifetime at the amusement park. There are good rides, there are crappy rides, and the only way to get off the world's tallest roller coaster, is to ride down it. 

I had my second callback for the Pilot Presentation. The director had even told me I had reminded him so much of the girl they had based the character on. All of this is music to my ears, but at the final callback last night... Well, because I'm a girl and girls overanalyze, let's go through this:

It's the final, final one, and there are four of us girls and three guys. Girl 1 seemed uncomfortable, shy and nervous. She was the first to go. Girl 2 had a time constraint and needed to leave as soon as possible. Pretty sure she's out too. Girl 3....

Girl 3 is beautiful. I mean, dang. She's got the most amazing skin, the cutest boyish haircut and her makeup is done perfectly. She is hip. She is cool. She is my competition.

She is making me nervous.

We sit in the anteroom and talk to one another and Girl 3 is also pretty dang sweet. She's the type of actress you not only know will succeed but hope she does because she has the IT factor and is nice to boot.

They guys each get to read with both of us, then there's only one guy remaining and both us girls. The other girl seems to be taking a really long time, and as we all know, really long times in the audition room is almost certain death for those of us waiting to get in.


I had the mantra, "I'm a Booker!" running through my head, and I KNEW I was needlessly getting nervous, but what can you do? Wait a sec. I know what I can do! Have fun with it!

And that's what I did. I bantered, I teased and I made fun of the other character in the scene. Improv was encouraged and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I joked around with everyone in the room.

I liked my read with Guy 1. I liked my read with Guy 2, but I loved my read with Guy 3. Our improvised banter was spot on and I felt we looked and acted the barfy couple. After we were excused and said our goodbyes, Guy 3 and I walked out together. "How'd it go with the other girl?" I asked. "She is definitely your competition. She and I had really great chemistry too."

But I knew this.

She is a completely different type from me, and I understand so much goes into deciding factors. I left feeling pretty bummed; I wanted to be the girl they NEEDED to have immediately. I am not that girl.

Got home, went on a walk and tried to revel in the freedom I felt during my callback and be proud of myself for bringing more of my personality into the casting room. These people know exactly who I am and exactly what I'd be like to work with on set. I went to bed trying to focus on the other several things I'm creating that I can look forward to.

And then I get an email from the director of Postpartum Nightmares, the recreated events show I shot last December. Not only is my segment opening the show, but it is airing tomorrow night at 8pm on the Discovery Health channel. So look! The roller coaster only had one teeny tiny dip. It's still a thrilling ride.

It's still a thrilling ride.

Lira Kellerman


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